Zoe & Max a Story!
by TaTTiNaTTi
Summary: This is taken from when they first meet outside the ED during his first shift... & continues...
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfic.. it's 'another' Zoe &amp; Max so has some similarities to the show.. some quotes may be similar to those used in the episode's but probably not 100% accurate. I apologize for any formatting/grammar/spelling errors I really did try to make this right but again i'm not 100% sure on what I'm doing so for that I apologize in advance.. if it is absolutely unreadable let me know &amp; I'll just take it down. No big deal... **

**Cheers Tx**

**.**

As Zoe relaxed outside against the wall of the ED, inhaling her cigarette deeply, she jumped a little as the new porter came around the corner.

"Ermm got a lighter I could bum?"

Zoe handed him the lighter a little intrigued by her new smoking buddy.

"You wouldn't happen to have a cigarette would you?" He asked.

She giggled inside, cheeky bugger she thought to herself.

"You're new aren't you?"

"Yeah first day." Max answered a little nervously.

He took a brief few seconds to really take her in... she was fit! A nurse probably he thought to himself noting the stethoscope around her neck but he thought he'd wind her up.

"So what do you do? Never mind let me guess... errmmm a receptionist?"

Zoe took a deep breath she was actually enjoying this because she was about to bring his little fantasies to a halt.

"No actually I'm the Clinical Lead around here."

Max almost choked but wanted to preserve his cool demeanour.

"And they make you stand out here for a fag"...

"Yes they make me stand out here for a fag..." Zoe laughed... and they both laughed together.

"Hey what are you doing later, maybe I could take you out for a drink?"

The nerve on this one! Zoe thought to herself, the thought was just kind of cringy and obviously he was making fun of her, I mean a Clinical Lead and a porter!

Give me a break she thought to herself. He was still standing there, actually looking kind of serious.

"You and me... a drink? I think I'm going to have to take a rain check on that one."

"Ok but if you change your mind." Max looked at her wishing circumstances were different she was waaay out of his league... professionally and she was absolutely gorgeous!

Later that day Zoe was working with Jamie in resus, when Max entered to wheel a patient through, Zoe felt a little hint of excitement as he walked in. She berated herself internally for her thoughts, as Max took the brake off the hospital bed and began to push. She joined him as she was headed out that way, as they walked through the double doors and Zoe's focus was on the doors swinging open ahead... Max took the opportunity to brush her hand with his, lingering ever so slightly enough for her to react.

She gave him a stern look to which he giggled, trying to refrain from smirking herself she couldn't hold it and gave the game away, as she walked off toward reception.

"I'll see you later." He inappropriately shouted out after her.

Gaining raised eyebrows from both Noel and Louise, Zoe just rolled her eyes knowingly at them to which they both laughed and shook their heads...


	2. Chapter 2

A week had passed, Zoe and Max were becoming increasingly comfortable in their banter spending many breaks passing the time smoking outside together, he made her feel alive again, not always having to talk 'shop'. His cheeky sense of humour was just what she needed during those tediously long admin days.

That night at the pub where the staff always found themselves after a long shift, she noticed him as he walked in wearing a grey tight t-shirt. His chest was broad, he probably worked out she thought to herself, her mind wandered thinking what it would be like to put her hands on his chest and feel the defined lines of his torso with her nails.

She was suddenly snapped back to reality as the bar man was unsuccessfully trying to get her attention waiting for her drink order... "Oh I'm sorry a glass of red wine." She flustered.

She felt like a bit of an idiot, day dreaming about this guy now, had she totally lost the plot she thought to herself. Putting her drink down on the table with all her colleague's, she needed a fag.

Moving toward the door she took a look back as she accidentally caught Max's eye, she cursed herself as the butterflies danced in her tummy.

Lighting her cig. unsuccessfully in the breeze.

"Can i join you?"

It was Max with his cheeky grin.

"It's a free country" she retorted, as she walked away from him and turned the corner so she could get out of the breeze and light her smoke.

"Trying to get me alone in a dark corner are you?" He giggled as he followed her.

"Max" she chastised him.

He leaned in so that she would light his cigarette, she got a whiff of his cologne he must have put on for the pub. It made her senses tingle as she looked at him, he caught her look. He had to be quick or he'd lose this moment, he leant in to the side of her and kissed her lightly on her cheek.

"What was that for?" She questioned.

"For the light of course."

"Well remind me not to buy you a drink... or ... dinner!" She quipped before she could stop herself.

"I'd like that very much... and your reward would be my pleasure." He whispered at the end.

Time to put a stop to this Zoe realized, it was starting to get out of hand, she didn't want to tease and lead him on any more than she had already it was going to start getting awkward.

"Max." She put her hand on his chest... "Can we just not, it's not professional." Before she could stop herself, she had both hands on his chest, she could feel his muscles just as she had been dreaming moments ago in the pub.

He pushed towards her hands slightly and she dug her nails in lightly to get a better feel for him. As she took her hands away, he grasped the sides of her face gently and kissed her. Zoe tried to pull away, as she did so he grabbed her hands and put them back on his chest holding them there, he leant in again to kiss her. This time she reciprocated with intent and want, feelings awakening long since forgotten ...


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for all the lovely &amp; encouraging reviews.. i'm super happy... means a lot xx Again sorry for grammar, spellings, mistakes &amp; any general f*** up's!**

Working different shifts for the next week, it seemed Zoe and Max had got what they wanted out of their brief encounter together outside the pub.

Zoe had been so busy with admin and dealing with Connie that she barely had time to even think about the fact that Max was not there, him working nights and she days. They were far from in a relationship together and if it did come up and their paths crossed she would enforce the fact to him. She was still his boss...!

Max on the other hand had not wanted to put Zoe out of his mind, she was all he could think about! Working nights was lonely without their cigarette breaks to lessen the monotony of his job. He had been thinking a lot about his job, he had done a few years at College and Uni, for a career opportunity that just seemed non-existent now he'd qualified and here he was in debt working as a porter, with no prospects! No way he could hold on to someone like Zoe with no prospects, feeling hopeless he had spent some time talking to Charlie about taking a full-time nursing course.

However realizing his current student debt and taking on another full-time course he knew he would not be able to do his practical training in Holby. He would have to move to London and stay with his parents and go to college and train there.

His thoughts trailed to Zoe once again... their kiss... the look she unconsciously gave him that sent him crazy! He would work forever as a porter if it meant seeing her every day but he knew as with all his past brief relationships if anything more were to happen between himself and Zoe, that is all it would be 'brief.' He had to think of himself now and his future.

He felt passionate about nursing having worked at the hospital for nearly a month now, he could really see himself in that role. He knew he would love it.

The last couple of days had been incredibly difficult for Zoe, she felt like she was being set up, time and time again by Connie a new consultant to the ED. Zoe had a very strong suspicion that Connie was either having an affair or was leading up to an affair with the CEO of the hospital Guy Self. Every time Zoe turned around Connie was tattling to Guy about something or another, mostly overly exaggerated nonsense. It was really starting to get to her, the job was hard enough without having to head off Guy Self and his minion every 5 minutes!

However today had been the worst day of Zoe's career she had been to an onsite major accident and put herself in grave danger.

Max had gone to the ED to pick up his wages but as he was headed home to get some sleep before his next night shift, he heard Tess informing the day staff about a horrific helicopter crash and Zoe… 'his' Zoe, being right in the mix.

He never felt so sick he hadn't even spoken to her in days. What kind of person was he? He could hardly call himself a friend let alone the fact she was the last woman he kissed that actually meant something to him, no matter how short a time they'd known each other.

Upon Zoe's return she went straight into resus with her patient. Zoe's blood dried from a deep cut on her forehead but she was okay!

Max made some lame excuse that he had left his pen in resus as Zoe was about to take a break for Charlie to stitch her head, Max stopped her.

"Zoe you okay?"

"Yeah." She gave him an 'I'm fine' look but kept walking.

"I'll tell you what, now I know how Mary-Jane Watson feels every time Spider-man goes out!"

Zoe looked back with a kind smile on her face to which Max mirrored before going over to the side to get his fake pen.

Sadly Zoe lost her patient with whom through it all she had become so very attached to. It had really knocked her, when the patient lost her fight in resus it was shortly after Charlie had stitched her own wounds. Not to mention Connie couldn't resist putting in her two cents of course with her version of events.

Zoe was beyond exhausted both mentally and physically all she felt was she'd finally had enough. Spending every waking minute on admin, seemingly losing control of the ED, this was not why she'd come into medicine it was to be there and be involved with her patients.

Connie was hankering for her job at every given opportunity. Well you know what! She could have it! She thought to herself... It was either that or she would do something she regretted, Zoe turned now to Tash, one of the nurses and asked her to find Connie and ask her to meet her upstairs.

Here goes nothing Zoe thought!

The meeting between herself, Guy Self and Connie was brief, she said what she needed to say and she knew Connie would be salivating at the opportunity to take over... and so it was done! Zoe had stepped down as Clinical Lead…..


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry this is bordering on a little short... I'm just trying to get a little detail in without it running into too many things. I hope you are still enjoying it :)**

Monday morning, Zoe felt refreshed and like she had a new lease of life with her career, yes she'd taken a step backwards but this is where she was at her best. Bring it on she thought!

Having an enjoyable fag break without the pressure of the entire ED resting on her shoulders, she was soon joined by a familiar face.

"Hey stranger, long time no see!" Max gave her a little nudge...

She chuckled a little as she handed him her lighter not waiting to be asked.

"So we are practically equals now I hear!" Max said with a mischievous tone to his voice.

"I wouldn't go that far Max, but it's a change I was very much in need of."

"You wouldn't be in need of anything else would you?" He winked as he tossed his newly lit cigarette back on the floor... "Not really on a break yet but I couldn't resist a minute with my favourite doctor." He winked and he was gone...

Leaving Zoe feeling those stirrings inside returning however much she denied them. What was it with him? Was it just his cheeky attitude, no it was more than that much more. She had been impressed with him since the beginning, she'd watched him working with the patients he really had something special and smart too she knew that much! Not to mention his looks and physique!

Later on that day, whilst in her office that she still shared with Connie despite the demotion... a knock at the door...

"Could you sign this off for me boss?" It was Max, as he handed a few forms to Zoe she glanced through them.

"Applying for nursing college I see...!"

"Yes in London though, moving back in with the parents.." He gave her a tortured look, to which she giggled.

"Well it will be a shame to lose you Max, you really have something special with the patients, it will be our loss and another hospitals gain..."

"Zoe.. "

"What?"

"Thank you..."

"For what?"

"Just you.. Just you being you" he said...

She got up to show him out and hand him the forms, Max pulled on her arm as she walked past and pulled her back toward him.

"Would you go out with me Zoe? Like on a proper date?"

"I don't think so Max, let's just leave it eh!"

At the end of her shift, another knock at the office door... it was Oscar the porter.

"Flowers.. Doctor Hanna."

"For me?"

"Yes"...

A beautiful big bouquet of flowers. She put them down on her desk, she took the little card out of its envelope. 'Spider-man' and then on the other side it just said 'MJ x.' Zoe laughed as her mind cast back to the reference he made that day, that awful day. Maybe a little brightness could come from it she thought, just as Max walked past her office and took a look in, he looked at the flowers and broke into a big smile and walked on...


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews, keep them coming I love getting them :). Sorry again I think i'm struggling with punctuation 1st/3rd person the most... :/ but bear with me.**

**This chapter is a little racy, contains sex. I'd say 14+**

Zoe breathed in the glorious scent of the lilies, they really were exquisite. She knew they must have cost poor Max a good days wages.

What am I going to do about this chap, she thought to herself, what to do! He was leaving after all, so why not allow herself a bit of fun. Or was she going to go to her grave thinking of the one that got away, she allowed her mind to wander to Nick but despite the years it still stung. The fact she was unable to give him children the only request he'd ever made of her. She felt she was a failure in her personal life but took comfort in the fact she knew she was a great doctor!

She grabbed her coat and purse, making her way out the door. Trying to catch a glimpse of Max, he was nowhere to be seen. Outside the double doors the smell of the fresh rain hit her, she bundled the flowers close so as not to have them spoiled by the heavier rain drops and set off toward her car.

"Nice flowers!"

Turning around to see Max standing tall against the wall to avoid the drips coming off the roof…

"I love them, thank you!" She grinned.. "Hey Max how about we go grab a bottle and have dinner at mine?"

"Well that sounds like a pretty shit idea, I'd much prefer to stand here in the pouring rain!"

He hurried to join her, both of them shrieking a little as they ran with excitement trying to dodge the rain and puddles to her sleek black Audi. Before long they were back at Zoe's place, dinner was a take-away and the bottle was two maybe even three bottles of wine!

They had a wonderful relaxing time with lots of chatting they just plain got along with no awkwardness or anything. It felt like they had known each other for years!

Zoe went through some of the things she thought would help Max with his future endeavours with his nursing and they talked through the whole nightmare that was Connie, the ED and how that all played out in the end. Zoe was enjoying Max's company so much she had really missed this, having someone she not only cared about but trusted.

Max picked their plates and general take-away trash up and took it into the kitchen,

"Well aren't you well trained!" She complimented him, waiting for him to sit down again.

As he sat down on the couch she joined him filling up her glass until it was practically brimming over…

"Easy there!" He chuckled as she took a slurp and then a gulp.

He grabbed her wine glass and placed it down on the coffee table, he looked deep into her eyes before he leant in to kiss her gently. Then moving down her neck she moaned so faintly, her hands moving over his broad chest she began peeling off his shirt.

"Zoe, let's go upstairs.."

"I'm staying right here," she pushed him back a bit and straddled him. He felt under her blouse and undid her clasp moving his lips up under her shirt to where her nipples had found their freedom tantalizing her and then back to her lips. His breathing heavy he pulled her blouse up over her head and continued manipulating her nipples and biting gently until she couldn't take it any longer as he repeated his maneuvers back down from her neck..

Zoe wrestled with his buckle and soon he was where she wanted him, she guided him to where she could no longer wait. She moaned with deep exhilaration as he entered her, she was soon in touch with her rhythm of pleasure bending toward him to kiss him as she continued…

Max holding her hips now he noticed she was started to just hold off a little from him pulling her deeply onto him.

"Am I hurting you?" He asked in a quiet tender way.

"Just a little ovary bumping, big boy!" she giggled a little as she kissed him intensely…

He grabbed her and gently rolled her off the couch trying to stay deep inside her until he then lay on top of her on the rug, they continued their first encounter… Zoe cried out as he felt her relax around him. Max gave a low exhale very soon after.

"You're amazing!" He said to her as he rolled her to the side so he could look at her and cuddle for a blissful 5 minutes. Until they both realized how damn uncomfortable they were squished between the coffee table and the couch.


	6. Chapter 6

**This is just a short detail chapter I wanted to put up now. I would like to thank my guest reviewer for the CC and tip, much appreciated! Thanks again for all the kind reviews (())**

It had been 1 month since Zoe and Max's first night together, their relationship, their ease and respect for one another had continued to grow. They mostly found themselves on different shifts, which of course meant that when they were on the same shift together they couldn't help but find themselves in either the on-call room or some cupboard or other….

Zoe's favourite was having Max go upstairs to pharmacy then getting herself up to the on-call room on the same floor, as he passed by she would grab him and pull him in. Their 'cupboard time' was always fraught with passion, they moved quickly to get to where they both longed for. Bringing each other to total satisfaction with perfectly timed unison it was their secret adept routine. After work they would usually go back to Zoe's and just cuddle on the couch, watching TV until the early hours.

Max was starting to feel like he wished things were not going to change, they rarely spoke about him going off to college yet but in 4 months he would be starting at St Bartholomew's Hospital in London. He was exceedingly lucky to have gotten a place at the best medical training hospital in England, he had a feeling that a certain doctor was very much responsible for it.

Neither of them felt that anyone needed to know about their thing together, before long Zoe would be back to her normal lonely career oriented life and Max would be moving on with his in a different city altogether.


	7. Chapter 7

**Apologies in advance again for mixing up 1st,3rd person etc, my brain just can't sort it. Please note any references to Max &amp; his nurse training is purely for convenience for the story any factual references are purely accidental. ;) Please review if you have time.. thank you so much x**

3 months later…

"Zoe, it suits you!" Tess commented at reception one day as they were both picking up their stacks of files.

"What does Tess?"

"Being back to your old self, you're positively glowing!"

Zoe had never been happier both in her work in the ED and her personal life, who knew she could actually turn out to be good at both! Her confidence was exuding out of her; she had not felt this happy to wake up in the mornings in a long time, of course opening her eyes most mornings to see Max beside her seemed to help substantially.

Max too was aware of a shift in his usual behavior. Had he really been exclusive to one woman? Basically since their first kiss outside the pub, this thought had presented itself to him on more than one occasion, making him raise an eyebrow. Admittedly to himself he was definitely in love with Zoe but telling her how he felt would be a mistake. He wouldn't go as far as to say she was damaged but there were definitely some issues he felt he had to be delicate around, which unexpectedly just made him love her more.

As the weeks seemingly flew by, time was ticking for them; they were becoming increasingly aware of it.

For one thing Max's new let's take a selfie together habit had definitely stepped up sending them on to Zoe, she must have a phone full by now. Their frenzied cupboard time had been swapped for long nights making-love from dusk to dawn. At work though they had started to pull apart, Zoe was definitely taking a step back when she could from sharing time with him in the ED. Sometimes forcing herself to go without a whole cigarette to avoid him. She was trying to gain some control on the situation that was rapidly approaching. How would she say goodbye to him? She may never see him again the thoughts going over and over in her head. When she would watch him go by her office always on a mission helping a patient, she would slowly close her eyes lowering her head. It was hurting way more than she had anticipated.

Max was having a leaving party in the ED organized by Charlie a week before his departure; it was all too much for Zoe. She couldn't go into the room as she walked up to the door hearing everyone cheering. Her heart was breaking she went wobbly just before pushing the door open, suddenly feeling like she was having a panic attack, she rushed to the bathroom and puked barely making it to the toilet bowl. Sliding down the cubicle door sobbing, just fucking brilliant Zoe, you just don't learn do you! She reprimanded herself over and over. Fall in love with him why don't you, another one you can watch leave you to get on with his life while you stay here to resume your one dimensional existence.

The leaving party now in full swing

"Where's Zoe?" Charlie asked

"Let me go find her." Max chirped up cheerfully.

"You can't go, it's your party." Charlie pulled Max back.

"No I got this Charlie; I have to go make a quick call anyway. I'll just be a moment." Max motioned with his phone, taking his leave.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you so so much for the lovely reviews :) **

Max saw Louise in the hallway. "Louise, have you seen Zoe?"

"No sorry, thought she was with you lot."

Max made quick work of finding Zoe since he thought maybe she was in the bathroom putting on her makeup. He knocked and opened the door peeking round; there she was leant up against the counter.

"Max!" She turned away and started splashing water on her face. Moving up behind her he turned her around; she buried her face into his porters top and wept. "I can't do this Max."

"Hey, come on I haven't died!" We can see each other as often as we like, it's only London.

"No Max, I'm letting you go."

"Zoe that's ridiculous!"

"You're starting a new exciting chapter; you don't need your past life here holding you back. This is my decision; I thought you knew me Max! If you did you would know I don't do goodbye's and I certainly don't do happy ever afters."

"I don't get it, I don't get you!" Max was getting slightly angry with her now.

"I'll leave your things you have at mine at the door, come by and get them. I can't have it any other way Max, it's killing me."

"But I love you Zoe, don't end it, please don't end it." He was welling up himself now; he wiped a tear from his eye before it could fall. Leaning to kiss her heatedly, only pulling away as they both needed to take a breath.

"Zoe?"

"What?"

"Have you been sick?" He smirked.

"Oh Max, I'm so sorry!" She looked mortified.

"What are we like?" He whispered

"Max, I meant what I said. Please don't make this even harder for me."

"I know you meant it Zoe, it doesn't mean I have to like it but we'll do it your way for now. You'll change your mind, I know you will. You'll be a proper London bunny.

"No I won't. Max don't you have a party to get to?"

"Oh shit yes! Listen we have to talk about his just one more night Zoe ok?"

"One more night Max" she kissed him…

"Mmmm!" he giggled… "Here have a tic-tac," he got the box out his pocket and popped a couple into her mouth as he made his way out.

Zoe had Max somewhat convinced that she was making the right decision for both of them, 3 years was a long time to make promises. They were both adults and just had to get on with it. Despite her threats they spent the last of his few days and nights in Holby together.

As they stood on the platform waiting for his train to London he whispered in her ear, "I've seen what you did to me last night, is that your way of claiming me?" He chuckled, as he pulled his collar down revealing several quite large marks she had left. To which she pretended not to notice.

"There's nothing there Max, pull it back up for god's sake before everyone sees!" She hissed, feeling embarrassed at what she'd done.

"Just admit it, admit you love me, I'm waiting…" He finally gave in; she wasn't going to say it. "I love you Zoe." He kissed her hard and passionately in front of all the other waiting passengers and this time she wasn't complaining. "Now let that last you until you visit."

"Max don't," she placed her finger on his lips to silence him. As her tears began to show, she turned to leave and never looked back.

As she slumped over the steering wheel in her Audi, wracked with sobs. A text came in to her phone..

_Miss you already Spider-man, I love you. MJ x_

"I love you too" Zoe whispered through her tears touching the screen of her phone as if it would make him appear.


	9. Chapter 9

**Apologies if this is a hot mess, but you know the score, ;) If you have time as always I love reading your thoughts &amp; reviews xx**

.

.

It had been about 2 weeks since Max left Holby, Zoe was doing ok. His daily texts were helping as they usually had her in fits of giggles. After a difficult shift, it was late when Zoe finished work. Getting on for 7.30pm it was a pretty chilly night for mid-September, feeling starving she decided a late evening trip to the grocery store was in order. Comfort eating was definitely helping to fill the gap she was feeling with no Max in the evenings. After paying for her basket of shopping, she exited the store; suddenly overwhelmed with the cold dry air mixed with the petrol fumes of the car-park hitting her senses all at once. She retched as she made her way to her car, retching again this time unable to hold it. She couldn't believe she had just thrown up openly in a public car-park.

Waking up the next morning Zoe felt perfectly fine. As she got out of her car at work, again those same sensations hit her, dry retching a couple of times she made her way into the ED. Instantly feeling better once she made it to reception.

Cheering up a little, Zoe headed into her office to get some of her insurmountable paperwork done. Her phone bleeped as a text came in.

_Morning Beautiful, I miss you_. It was Max with his usual morning greeting.

Just as she'd finished reading it, she felt a tiny flutter in her abdomen. She held still, barely breathing and felt it again. Getting up from her desk not allowing herself to think another thought, she closed the curtain on herself in one of the cubicles and took some bloods, sending it on to the lab for an immediate HCG test.

Sitting outside having a cigarette her hands shaking uncontrollably, taking a deep breath Zoe walked back into the ED. Grabbing the slip of paper now awaiting her out of its slot, she glanced at it and without missing a beat started walking swiftly. Zoe's mind raging as she walked, her whole body quaking. She walked into the Gynecology department of the hospital immediately spotting her ObGyn doctor by reception. Zoe slammed the piece of paper down in front of her doctor.

"I think you're responsible for this monumental fuck up!" Zoe raged.

The doctor totally confused and a little shaken by Zoe's sudden outburst and grave appearance took a closer look at the paperwork.

"Oh I see! Zoe, you come with me." Closing the door of her office behind them.

"'Devastatingly unlikely', is what you said to me in our last meeting. So please, explain this." Zoe gave a slightly insane cackle as she spoke, her voice trembling.

"Zoe, that was 4 or so years ago! You know better than anyone these things can and do change. Let me get you a drink of water, now just try and breath and calm down."

After a few minutes of Zoe seemingly staring off into space her doctor spoke up again. "Now why don't we take a look at who we've got here, do you feel ready for that?"

Zoe just nodded, fear and shock just overwhelming her.

"Ok this will feel a little cold." The doctor squeezed the gel onto Zoe's abdomen.. "Now let's have a look at this little one."

Zoe's eyes were glued to the screen her breath caught as the sonogram image suddenly focused on the form of her unborn baby..

"Ok now let me see, you are definitely past the first trimester, everything looks perfect. I'm measuring baby at just about 16 weeks, Zoe does that sound about right?" Zoe didn't answer, unable to take her eyes off the screen, looking at her beautiful baby. "We can see what you're having, would you like to know?" Zoe slowly nodded, waiting for her doctor to move the ultrasound wand around some more. "Little girl Zoe, you're having a baby girl. Congratulations?" The doctor asked it as a question..

"Mmmhmm" was just about all Zoe could manage.

"Now do you have someone that can come and get you? You are clearly in shock Zoe. What about baby's dad? Can I help you with that? If you want me around to explain the situation?"

"What? No!" Zoe frowned at the doctor as if to say that was a crazy idea. "He's out of the picture anyway."

"Oh I'm sorry Zoe, I didn't mean to pry."

"No not like that, he'd be back in a heartbeat if he knew. I'm just not going to be turning his world upside down; I think one of us having that happen is plenty don't you!"


	10. Chapter 10

**This was going to be two chapters for obvious reasons but the length was too short, so I've combined them. x**

It had been just a week; Zoe already had her head around the idea of having this baby. She loved Max too much to complicate his life, he texted her every day, clearly enjoying his new found passion. It is what it is she thought, she would embrace raising his daughter. While he would embrace his career and maybe someday their paths would cross but at 18 Zoe would give her daughter the option of finding him but until she felt differently she would not be sharing this information with him.

For some reason her baby definitely had an aversion to car-parks, it made Zoe laugh a bit. Her little girl was obviously already letting her feelings be known but it really made arrival to work awkward. Zoe also realized she would be starting to show soon, she needed to confide in someone and just like Zoe she didn't want to do anything by halves.

When she got into work that morning, she called a brief meeting and matter-of-factly let them all know.

"I didn't even know she was seeing anyone." Zoe heard Louise loudly whisper to Noel.

"Well Louise you're right, I'm not. I'm doing this on my own but thank you!"

As Zoe walked off, Tess called out to her.

"Zoe do you have a minute? Congratulations by the way."

"Yes Tess, for you anything."

"So how far along are you?"

"About 17 weeks, I'm so excited!"

"Wow, so you really were glowing then the other week! You should have said..."

"I only just found out Tess, a little girl!" Zoe beamed.

When they arrived at Zoe's office, Connie was already in there.

"We can do this another time Zoe." Tess looked a little wary.

"No it's fine come on in." Zoe beckoned.

Connie offered Zoe her congratulations, Connie's 1-900 number voice always made Zoe just want to roll her eyes but for now Zoe would welcome any kindness. She certainly needed all the friends she could get right now, even the fake ones.

"So do you have any names picked out yet?"

"I do!" Zoe took a sip of her water, while taking a minute to think if she wanted to share. "I'm calling her Serenna, the middle 'e' is 'eh' pronounced like Henna."

"Oh that's so pretty Zoe!"

"Thanks Tess."

"Yes that's a lovely name Zoe, when is she due?" Connie asked.

"End of February, not too long to wait."

"And the father?" Connie just couldn't help herself.

"Is nobody's business; I'm going to be raising her on my...on my own." Zoe's voice cracked as she felt the guilt hit her. Keeping this from Max would crucify him if he ever was to find out.

...

Max had been in London for nearly 6 months now, having no idea that Zoe had recently given birth to their baby daughter back in Holby. He had texted her every day for the first few months, hoping she would change her mind and they could have continued dating with a little distance. However true to her word, Zoe had not visited him and their texts and communications had definitely dropped off more recently.

He was trying to move on, he was so busy with studying and partying it wasn't too hard but he still longed for the simple days, the love that they had shared, he missed their long talks into the night, their ease of being together, the fun they had in the hospital cupboards and even the serious stuff.

He'd had a couple of one night stands, possibly. He was so drunk on two of the occasions he wasn't even sure if he got that far but there was no one in his life that mattered, not like Zoe.

He was doing very well with his training and studies it all seemed to come naturally to him; it was a fantastic hospital to be able to work. Living in London was pretty amazing too, he really had no complaints. Life was pretty sweet.

Max hadn't texted Zoe for a good week but she was never really off his mind. Reaching for his phone he sent her a quick message.

_Hey babe, what you been up to?_

Zoe reached for her phone. _Just having an early night.. you off on the raz tonight?_ She knew him too well, as she looked down at their daughter finally sleeping soundly.

_:D_

_Have fun, be good and don't be drunk texting me later ;) xx_

_I will xx_

Zoe lay down to try and get some sleep before Serenna's next feeding which was still every 3 to 4 hours if she was lucky. When Zoe got up a couple of hours later, sure enough there were 3 texts from Max. Apparently he loved her, still loved her and really really loved her.. Weekends were usually when she got the drunk love texts but she knew deep down that those would stop eventually. He would meet someone new, probably a nurse or two. So for now she treasured his texts it still made her feel like they were together and now a little family. Sighing a little she cuddled Serenna close, kissing her fluffy little head and breathing in her gorgeous scent.

"I love your silly daddy and I know he would absolutely adore and love you, just like I do."


	11. Chapter 11

**Apologies if this is a bit boring, it's a filler chapter. Thank you for all the support &amp; reviews with this story, it's really helping me to continue it to the end xx**

"Are you doing anything special for Serenna's first birthday tomorrow Zoe?" Tess asked.

"Tess, I've just not had the time to plan anything. I'm the worst. Would you fancy coming round, maybe we could have some drinks in the evening, have a girls night in the three of us?"

"That sounds good, I'll look forward to it." Tess smiled.

Serenna even at only one, was a strikingly beautiful child with her mother's dark complexion and Max's green eyes. Zoe had Serenna in a cute frilly pettiskirt and an 'I'm 1' onesie for her birthday. Zoe didn't take her into work too much because everyone just fell over themselves and dropped everything to see her. However today Tess had told her to bring Serenna in on her day off, Zoe suspected 'party'. It was lovely, they'd gone to so much trouble decorating the canteen with balloons and streamers. A big cake for Serenna to squish her little fingers into and everyone had presents. Zoe was quite overwhelmed by all the love her colleagues had for her little one, she honestly didn't know what she would do without them and their support.

Tess went back with Zoe after the party around 4pm and they cracked open a bottle of champagne, which seemed to go right to Tess's head. They had a really fun evening, quite a bit to drink, dancing and lots of giggles over Serenna doing hilarious stuff.

"Say goodnight to Auntie Tess" Zoe said, waving Serenna's chubby little arm and took her to bed, reading her a quick few pages from _Goodnight Moon_. Zoe went back down to join Tess, only to find Tess had fallen fast asleep on the couch. Zoe covered her up with the throw and dimmed the light.

Grabbing a bottle of wine from the fridge she poured herself another generous glass of wine, knocking half of it back to keep her buzz going, she got herself some of the cheese and crackers she'd laid out earlier. Zoe put the music back on putting the spotlight on in the garden it gave a glow into the conservatory where she sat in the illuminated darkness. It had been an effortless lovely day, Serenna had enjoyed herself immensely.

Finishing off her glass and pouring another, she dialed his number without even giving it a second thought.

"Zoe?" just hearing him say her name after all this time, after everything she'd been through, having only communicated over text and then nothing for months. It made her head spin, she bit down on her lip before taking another drink.

"Max, hey."

"Is everything okay? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Max, can you talk to me?"

"I can always talk to you, always."

"Do you want to dance a little?" She whispered.

"Close your eyes Zoe.." She stood up closing her eyes, gently moving to the music while Max spoke softly to her, telling her all the things she longed to hear, what he wished he could do to her right then. After a few minutes he could hear her trying to suppress her sobs. "It's okay Zoe, what's going on? I'm here, I'm right here."

"Max, I .. this wasn't a good idea, forgive me Max, one day you have to forgive me."

Turning her phone off she collapsed to the floor, regret and sorrow overwhelming her until she could barely catch her breath.

Zoe made her way upstairs, pulling a chair up to Serenna's cot, she stroked her baby girl's hair until there were no more tears to shed.

...

When Zoe got up the next morning, Tess was already getting a pot of coffee on the go.

"Morning Zoe, I'm so sorry about last night, I'm such a lightweight."

"No worries Tess, a day with Serenna will tire the best of them out!"

"Oh she's just perfect Zoe she's no problem, if you ever want a break I'd take her in a heartbeat for a sleep over or something let you have some time to yourself."

"We're fine Tess, thank you."

"You're an amazing Mom Zoe but you deserve a break too, the offer's always there."

...

Max was unable to sleep, he had a feeling someone was messing her around, he'd kill him!

It was none of his business but he texted her when he got up.

_Hey Zoe, you okay this morning?_

_Max, too much to drink, I don't even remember what happened!_ She lied.

_Zoe?_

_Yes Max?_

_How's our cupboard?_

She had a feeling she knew where he was going with that question, and wanted to put his mind at ease even if it was neither here nor there under the circumstances.

_Redundant!_

_Good xxxxx_


	12. Chapter 12

Approximately 6 months later, marking Max and Zoe having been apart for 2 years, just one more year for Max to complete his studies. Zoe having a very vivacious 1 ½ year old toddler their lives couldn't be any more different.

Zoe having had a particularly good shift at work, back in her office she was going through her inter-hospital mail. In amongst it was an envelope that didn't look like the usual official ones. Opening it up immediately, inside was a card from Max. She shifted a look over in Connie's direction and began to read it.

_Zoe,_

_My old college friend is getting married, just outside Holby on August 31st at St Andrews Church._

_You are invited to be my 'plus 1', I'm sending this officially so you will have to turn me down in writing, if I don't hear back I WILL see you there._

_1pm._

_MJ x_

August 31st was this coming weekend, going would stir up all kinds of emotions she felt she finally had a handle on. There was Tess though who was mythering her constantly about having Serenna for a weekend. Would it really hurt to go to a wedding for an afternoon with Max?

Zoe spotted Tess buzzing around, it would be way too short notice anyway, Tess would be busy.

"Tess I've been invited to a wedding this Saturday, any chance you could have Serenna?"

"I'd love to Zoe, can I have her overnight?"

"If you'd like, I'm not 100% sure I'll be going yet but you can take her either way, she will love it!"

"Oh thank you so much Zoe." Tess seemed genuinely thrilled to babysit. Now it was up to Zoe if she would go to this wedding or not.

Dropping off Serenna at Tess's, Zoe was fretting terribly.

"Zoe she'll be fine, just go."

Zoe arrived 10 minutes late to the church, Max had been waiting outside hoping above all hope she had chosen to join him. Seeing her car his heart skipped a beat. He bounded over to her car opening her door and offering her his hand.

Oh my god, she thought to herself seeing him again. He was so handsome; she couldn't take her eyes off him as he placed a lingering kiss on her cheek. "Zoe you're late we better hurry." He grabbed her hand and they quickly made their way into the church. As they sat in the church pew Max took her hand and held her arm with his other hand.

"You look fantastic." He whispered and kissed her again on the cheek, turning her face to look at him and smiling.

After the wedding everyone was outside chatting, Max introduced Zoe to about 30 people mostly all about Max's age.

"Shall we go onto the reception now?"

"Max I can only stay for one, I'm driving."

"One? That's not very adventurous is it! Well if that's the case, then we can go back to yours and have a few more."

Shit, she hadn't even considered what would happen in this situation. How could she have Max back at hers it was like ToysRUs, and she had recently moved Serenna's cot into her room to attempt to have her close, with her having worked some long shifts recently.

"We could always get a hotel; let your hair down a bit. What do you think Zoe? Live a little?"

She felt she had no choice and agreed.

They went and booked into a hotel room first, so that they could leave Zoe's car there and get the shuttle that was provided to the reception. Max booked them in under Mr and Mrs Walker, winking to Zoe and kissing her again whenever he could, always either on the top of her head, forehead or cheek. Zoe hadn't specifically brought anything for overnight but she always had a change of clothes in her car because of her work.

Sitting in a more secluded corner of the reception so that they could talk, away from the loud music. Max excitedly told Zoe all about London.

"They've offered me a permanent place Zoe, the top 10% can get to stay on. Another year left I know but even if I failed most of my modules now, I'm still in."

"That's awesome Max, I knew you were destined for this!" Suddenly feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off her conscience; she HAD made the right decision. "You love it there don't you?"

"Yes I do, but Holby wasn't bad either!" He winked as he leant in to kiss her kindly again.

"Well Max, I think it's time to get our drinks on don't you?"

"Let's do this."

**This will be continued... xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you for the great reviews for my last couple chapters 'Yay' :) , I hope you like this one too. It's racy. Older teens 14+. **

Another drink or two and he couldn't keep his hands off her. "Max for goodness sake, can we slow down? You barely even know me now, remember!" She laughed as she slid her hand under his shirt to feel those defined muscles she had so missed.

More drinks, and some dancing they were truly having a great time. Max had now moved down to her neck as his favourite place to kiss her, while they were dancing and clinging on to each other he barely took his lips away.

"Max I've had way too much to drink already, I need to go freshen up." Abandoning him on the dance floor she grabbed her bag from the table close to where they had been dancing and made her way to the bathrooms. As she opened the door he was right behind her… sliding in quickly as she went in. He grabbed her bag out of her hand and sent it to the floor. Pulling her arms around him and kissing her deeply. Zoe couldn't help herself, becoming total mush in his arms… holding him around the back of his neck as they kissed just stopping for air for barely a second. He lifted her up onto the sink and continued as he started pulling up her skirt..

"Max, no.. you're not fucking me in the bathrooms, someone's going to come in!"

"I'm not fucking you Zoe, I'm making love." As he continued pulling her knickers down slightly.

"People don't make love in the toilets Max!" As his fingers started to touch her where her mind would soon shut off to everything but him. Moaning softly now, he knew her every weakness.. As he went under her dress, kissing her inner thighs. She dug her nails into his shoulders, somewhat trying to push him back but yet allowing him on her terms. The door swung open and in walked a couple of wasted guests..

"Don't mind us, carry on. Just be a second..."

"Shit Max.. help me down!" Pushing him out the bathroom.. "Just give a minute," as she took her lipstick out of her bag "I'll be right out, here take my bag." She handed off her bag to him so she could just take a minute to reapply her lipstick and gather herself.

"Nice to meet you," the three girls said as they passed back through. Zoe just gave them one of her eyebrow lifts in the mirror, which never needs a response.

Making her way back to the table, she grabbed her glass and took a huge mouthful of wine.

"Zoe your phone rang, Tess." He rolled his eyes. "I didn't answer it; can't the ED leave you alone for one night? Hey but who's the cutie on the lock screen?" He waved the phone in front of her.

"Jesus Christ, Max give me that." She felt the blood drain out of her as she looked at the recent picture of Serenna in his hand. "That's, that's my niece!"

"I never knew you had a niece, what's her na…" Before he could finish, Zoe accidentally on purpose knocked her wine glass over, watching it roll off the table to a loud smash.

"Nicely done, Spider-man." He laughed… "Let me go get you another…"

Zoe sat down, trembling. How could she have been so stupid she might as well have put a banner on it saying, 'I am your daughter,' she berated herself. Thankfully he seemed to have bought her lie.

He made his way back to her with her red wine and she drank it readily. "Max I'm going to just go call Tess, there might be a problem I can help her with, one sec." She took her leave and went outside lighting up a cigarette.

"Tess, everything ok?"

"Yes Zoe, sorry I didn't mean to worry you. I just thought you'd like to say goodnight to Serenna. Are you having a lovely time?"

"Great time Tess, thank you so much for this, is she being good?"

"She's wonderful, here she is"

"Hey baby, be a good girl for Auntie Tess. I miss you baby girl, night night xx" She blew kisses down the phone as she hung up. Finishing off her cigarette she just wanted to bail at this point and get back home to her daughter.

Going back inside she spotted Max across the way, he was chatting with a group of people. She could see that even though he was with them he was constantly looking around for her. Her heart ached to be near him, suddenly before she knew it she was back with him, his arm tightly around her waist.

"Let's say we get out of here.. Ready?" He asked her.

Back at the hotel, it was Zoe that quickly took charge barely making it through the door; she was pulling at his shirt. Unable to take her lips from his. Max held her away from him for a minute and turned her around, unzipping her dress until it fell to the floor, he picked her up and took her over to the bed.

"Zoe I've missed you so much!" Laying over her, kissing her all over, her moans were soft. He got back up to take off the rest of his clothes. She looked at him in the moonlight he was so beautiful, as he joined her again. Taking his time, he went to all her places he knew would drive her crazy. She felt his hardness, digging her nails into his torso bringing him close, he entered her hard, as she gasped just one movement and she came, kissing him deeply as he continued.. soon her mind cleared.

"Max, stop.." she started pushing his hips away from her.. "Max we have to use something!"

"Use something?" He breathed kissing her again, "like toys?" he giggled under his breath.

"A condom Max, please stop." He slowly pulled out of her, resting himself still close, kissing her feverishly and pushing again slightly.

"Max do you have one?" He started to reach down for his wallet.

"Fire &amp; Ice!" He handed it to her as she kissed him again, building their passion back up.

"That was crazy Max, I'm never going back." She laughed at his face as she examined the wrapper from the condom!

"It would have been just as good without it, better..." he tickled her.

They started kissing again and shortly he was already ready to get back to it, he was inside her again. She knew she was playing a dangerous game but he felt so good.

"Max, rogue sperm!"

Now he had the complete giggles, "Rogue Sperm, Zoe?" He pulled gently out of her again… unable to stop with the giggles… "You're just addicted to Fire &amp; Ice, I've created a monster" He gave her another condom, which she could hardly get on him fast enough.

"We have so much fun, I still love you, you know that don't you!" She was shaking in trepidation, as he entered her more gently in an attempt to try and make love to her despite the sensations the condom was creating making her more in the 'fuck me' mood. As they climaxed, she reached up to pull him close for a lustful kiss, as she sighed. He heard it, she finally said it.

"I love you Max" barely a whisper.

As he nestled to spoon with her, he realized she was trembling, holding her closely. "I just got carried away."

"Zoe it's okay for you to say, you love me. For goodness sake, it's a good job I don't know who fucked you up like this, he wouldn't be still walking."

"Max don't, you don't know the circumstances, just drop it please."

At that moment Max made himself a promise, he was going to go back for her. Unbeknownst to him his decision was going to astronomically change everything he knew as his reality.

When Zoe arrived at Tess's early the next morning to pick up Serenna, as soon as Tess opened the door Zoe just burst into floods of tears.

"Zoe, what's the matter!" Tess looked around to see if perhaps something had happened outside her place, as she huddled Zoe inside.

"I've been with her Dad, Tess. I love him so much it hurts so bad. Please don't tell anyone."

"Zoe you know me better than that." At that moment, Zoe heard her daughter..

"Mamma."

"Come here my little booger, how I have missed you!" Zoe picked Serenna up and swung her around into a big hug, kissing her chubby little cheeks.

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing Tess, that decision was made a long time ago."

"Well you love him, and you are clearly unhappy. Is he married?"

"No Tess, it's just complicated."

"He does know about Serenna?"

"No, no he doesn't know." As Zoe looked at her daughter with Max's eyes looking back at her, she started to weep again.

"Oh Zoe, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." Tess got up to hug both Serenna and Zoe, holding them until Zoe was ready to let go.


	14. Chapter 14

**Final Chapter, thank you all again .. I can't say how much I've appreciated all the kindness from this... x  
*UPDATE: 10/12/14 I have re-opened this story some 6 months later, this is no longer the final chapter ;)**

It was early May and Max invited Zoe to his graduation party but she refused saying she was working double shifts.

Having turned down his position in London, he found himself now looking across at Connie in the ED.

"Ah yes Max, nice to see you again. Shall we?" She gestured toward her office.

"So you are looking to fill the position we have, I looked through your resume and credentials, very impressive. I see you turned down a position in the hopes of working back here in Holby?" As she looked up at him, she saw him distractedly looking over at Zoe's desk, as she followed his gaze... "Oh Max you won't have met our little ED Princess yet." She smiled as she nodded toward Zoe's desk and the plethora of pictures of Serenna.

"Zoe's niece?" Max said a little confused.

"She isn't Zoe's niece, Serenna is Zoe's daughter."

Zoe had been stood in the doorway, unable to breath. Mesmerized by the nightmare, train wreck unfolding before her. What was he even doing here? Connie for Christ's sake stop... but she couldn't say any of it, she just had to watch.

"Hhhow old is she?" Max stammered trying to keep his composure in front of Connie.

"She's 2 1/4 Max" Zoe exclaimed, making both Connie and Max jump a little, not making eye contact with him, biting her lip so hard it bled. She walked over to her desk and picked up a picture of Serenna on her 2nd birthday and handed it to him.

"Zoe, don't do this to me." As Max looked down at the photo, his throat aching, a sob escaped as tears filled his eyes, gently touching the picture.

"Is everything alright here?" Connie was sat there, not knowing what was going on with the picture.

Max chocked as he went to speak. "Connie, I think you've just told me I have a daughter! Is that right Zoe?" His voice was soft as he spoke, but Zoe did not reply, she stood firm by the window her gaze not even in the same room.

"Oh I see, yes actually, she definitely has your eyes," as Connie looked at him. "Well I'll leave you two alone it looks like you have some very much needed catching up to do and Max if you want it, it's yours, so long as we can keep it professional." She motioned toward Zoe. Not waiting for an answer Connie made her way around the blinds twisting them shut and then left them alone.

Max got up, moving over to Zoe's desk. He took each picture and carefully lined them up in order with Serenna's newborn picture first. "I've missed so much Zoe; you were never going to tell me about her were you?"

Still not able to look at him, feeling like a stranger in her own office, she went and sat in Connie's chair. "I did what was best Max, I found out 2 weeks after you left. You'd moved on!"

"It was London Zoe; you make it sound like I was on an expedition to the moon! This is just more of your fucked up behavior but this time you've dragged our daughter into it." He said bitterly. "Did you ever stop to consider I may actually want my life to be here with you?" He was holding one of the pictures again, "tell me her name."

"Serenna Jane Hanna, Jane is so she had some part of you Max, but she is so much like you."

"Am I even on her birth certificate?"

"Of course you are, I would never have denied her getting to know you, when she was old enough."

"Did you plan this all along Zoe? Perfect sperm donor, no strings!"

"Max how can you even say that, do you know what it's like looking into her eyes, seeing you every time I look at her, it kills me! Many years ago I was told I would never have children. I spend a couple of amazing months with you and I'm pregnant but I swear to you I didn't know until you'd gone. You sounded like you were having such a great life there, how could I tell you?"

"Well that's where you and I will never agree, no matter what, I would have wanted this more than you'll ever know."

"Me too Max." Zoe was weeping now.

"I'm coming back here to work Zoe; I wanted to be close to you again. To see if we could maybe make it work but I don't even know you!"

"I'm sorry Max, I am extremely sorry. I know it sounds so lame but there are just no words. If you only knew how I felt about you, you may actually forgive me some day."

"Try me!"

"What?"

"Tell me how you feel about me."

"Max you know how I feel about you, I love you, I love you to the moon and back!"

He went over to where she was sitting and pulled her up from the chair, he moved the hair out of her eye and kissed her gently on her cheek. "Ditto."

"Would you like to go meet your daughter Max?"

"This is surreal but yes, yes more than anything."

As they made their way out of the ED. Max whispered in Connie's ear as he was leaving. "I'll take it!"

"Welcome back Max, have a good night you two." She called out.

As Max went to the door of the babysitters, hand in hand with Zoe, he spotted his little girl out in the garden.

"Mamma" Serenna went running up to Zoe hugging her.

"Serenna baby, this is daddy. Can you say hi daddy?"

"Hi daddy." Serenna shrieked before hiding behind Zoe's legs, peeking back out at Max.

"Hi Serenna, you know your Mummy gave you such a pretty name but you are even prettier, are you sure you aren't a princess?"

Serenna giggled "daddy silly!"

"Yes, yes he is." Zoe said in her best sarcastic tone. "How about we all go out for dinner, does that sound good Serenna?"

"Yep"

Zoe took a glance at Max; he had tears running down his face as he tried to compose himself. "Zoe she's so much like you and me! I'm so in love, with both of you."

Zoe held Serenna's hand tightly as she put her other arm around Max and they made their way to the car. After Serenna was all buckled in, before Zoe could start the engine, Max turned to her "fresh start Zoe?"

"I'd very much like to take you up on that," she smiled at him gratefully. Max leaned in to kiss her resolutely.

"How about we go home and make another?"

"Max!"

"Happy, happy ever after Zoe."

**That's a wrap, thanks so much for reading to the end, sorry if it was a cheezy ending but it had to be. :)**

*****UPDATE: 10/12/14 I have re-opened this story some 6 months later, this is no longer the final chapter ;)****


	15. Chapter 15

**I thought I'd re-open the story, I realize I closed it 6 months ago. :/ Felt like maybe I can continue it... :)**

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When they got back to Zoe's place that evening after dinner. Max pulled a sleeping Serenna out of her car-seat and carried her inside. Not taking his eyes off her for a second.

"Max, let me take her upstairs and get her pj's on. I can probably get her right down if I'm careful."

Max was reluctant to hand Serenna over to Zoe, she saw his face "don't worry, you'll see her in the morning."

"In the morning? Is that an invitation?" He gave her a cheeky grin.

Zoe rolled her eyes. "Since Serenna is in my room with me, you can have her room. There's a foldaway bed, I used to pull it out when I'd sleep in her room. I ended up spending almost every night in there, which is why she's now in my room. Or do you have somewhere else to be tonight Max?" Zoe asked cautiously.

"No the spare room would be great, thank you. Saves bumming a place on my mates couch."

Zoe smiled at him somewhat sarcastically, although their age gap wasn't huge some things really brought home that he was quite a bit younger than her.

Taking one more look at Serenna and gently kissing her forehead, he passed the sleeping toddler to Zoe. "She's going to love you, you know. If you're planning on sticking around?"

"That ball is well and truly in your court, Zoe. I'm pretty sure you know how I feel already."

When Zoe came back down, Max had made himself at home. Pouring them both a glass of wine and putting an Adele CD of Zoe's on low.

For the first time, there was an awkwardness between the two of them. Neither really knowing what to say.

"Well today's been quite eventful, it's not everyday you find out you have a 2 year old beautiful daughter and the mother is the woman you thought you knew and loved. I mean what's a guy to do? It's not like I can go back in time and get all those moments back that I've missed.

I am however thankful that I'm finding out now and not when she's 21!" Max was looking down at the floor, seemingly having a conversation with one of the floorboards.

"Max."

"No, Zoe it's fine. I do know you, I understand your fucked up logic, I really do. Staying here was probably not such a great idea. I need some time, I don't want to take it out on you. That won't help anyone, least of all Serenna."

"I understand, I know you will never forgive me Max. Keeping her from you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I thought I was doing the right thing." Zoe drank back her glass of wine and went to pour another. As she put her hand out for the bottle, Max placed his hand on hers.

"And that's not the answer."

Zoe had a tear rolling down her cheek as she turned to him.

"Come here." He embraced her in his arms, as she openly sobbed against him. "Oh Zoe, what am I going to do with you? Anything else you'd like to tell me before I find out from, of all people Connie?" He tilted her chin up to face him, as he brushed away one of her tears. Gently placing a kiss on her lips before taking her glass and filling it just half way.

"To the future?" Zoe raised her glass toward Max and he reciprocated.

"To our future Zoe."


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you all for the lovely welcome back reviews for the story... :) As per. I'm still struggling with everything grammar and punctuation wise. I'm so sorry :( I hope you can continue to enjoy it regardless.**

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Max lay himself down on the couch, and beckoned Zoe to join him. Laying on him felt so right, like they had never been apart, he placed a few light kisses on the top of her head. As they both relaxed and sat quietly enjoying each others closeness. Until Max started in with his banter...

"This couch, eh! It could tell a few stories. Like our first time, how mad was that?"

"Mad." Zoe agreed laughing, she would have to get used to having him around again with his sayings.

"I bet I could slide you off here, with so much more style now, wanna try it?"

"Don't be getting any 'mad' idea's Mr Walker. I'm not even on the pill."

"Well that didn't stop you before did it!" He felt Zoe tense up, and he realized he'd gone too far. "I'm sorry that was insensitive of me." He squeezed her a little tighter in their cuddle to try and convey his apology, he felt really bad.

"You have no idea, how hard I tried to have a baby at one time in my life Max. I actually made myself really sick, doubling sometimes tripling my fertility drugs. Being told you can't have children, sometimes you'll try anything just to defy the odds. Anyway I don't want to talk about the past, not now with Serenna in my life. My sweet little blessing."

"So let's talk about you. Here you are back in Holby, seeking job offers from Connie. What else are you up to?"

"I'm actually hoping Connie let's me take a 3 month sabbatical at some point, there is just one more course I'd like to take. It's in Birmingham but I'll be-able to stay in the dorm's there, I've already looked into it. I just need Connie's clearance."

"Well if it's anything to do with your medical career, I know she won't stand in your way. Serenna though Max, if you're going to be in her life, you can't take sabbatical's from being a daddy, it just wouldn't be fair on her."

"Zoe it's Birmingham, you're the one that has the trouble with long distance relationships, not me!"

"Touché."

Zoe got up to grab another bottle of wine, to have next to them on the coffee table. Before she resumed her position on the couch she leaned in to kiss him, not too heavily. She wasn't trying to lead him on, just enough for him to know how she felt. As she slid back between his legs on the couch and lay her head back on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered into her hair. "I love you. I just want to hold you tonight, nothing more Zoe. I promise."

"Max, it's not a good idea. I would love nothing more but I don't trust me, and I don't trust you because I don't trust me."

"That's pretty deep." He laughed. As Zoe jabbed an elbow into his side. "Awww, what was that for?"

"Would you mind if I go take a peek at my little girl and get my fabulous roll-a-bed ready? I'm pretty exhausted to be honest."

"Yes, Max I'm sorry I didn't even think. I have a little admin homework to do yet, but I won't be long either."

Zoe took Max upstairs, they both looked in at Serenna sleeping so peacefully in her crib. Max took Zoe's hand as they did and nuzzled her cheek a little, before Zoe broke the hold and started taking sheets out of the airing cupboard. The next few minutes they spent in fits of giggles as Max attempted to open the folding bed.

"You clearly haven't done this before, have you? Here move over, let me do it." She said eventually, giving up any hope that he could do it by himself. "Okay, there you go. You're good to go." As she went to walk out he grabbed her arm, pulling her back to a passionate kiss that got heated pretty fast her hands started moving to pull his shirt off.

"Hey, hey. I'm the sensible one now. There will be non of that." Max took her arms back and put them firmly at her sides. Zoe lightly bit the top of her finger, giving him a cheeky smirk. "You had better leave now Doctor Hanna or I will not be responsible for what happens next."

Max managed a quick swipe at her behind before she left the room.

Turning around to look at him before she went, "I've missed you... us." She said it with such a sadness and heartfelt look on her face, all the months of thinking about him suddenly catching up with her in that moment. She took her turn to quickly leave before another incident occurred. "Goodnight Max."


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you all again, please keep the reviews coming.. I love them! :D Ok, 14+ for this. I tried to keep it as clean as I could without losing the story.**

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After an hour or two of admin. Zoe finally gave it up, pouring a glass of water to take up to bed. She was so exhausted, she almost just fell into bed. Watching the rise and fall of Serenna's chest, Zoe decided she should probably check on Max. It wouldn't take much for him to have a nasty folding bed accident, she chuckled to herself thinking back to his earlier mishaps.

Tiptoeing into his room, he hadn't shut the curtains and the street-light was shining in on his gorgeous features. His broad chest was just there waiting to be caressed. She went over to pull the curtains closed, as she turned around she noticed a narrow space along the side of his bed. If she was quite agile and good at balancing she could probably just lay there next to him for a tiny minute.

Climbing into the bed, she soon felt his arm around her.

"Zoe, I'm not going to be kicking you out, just so you know." He whispered, giving her a little tickle.

At this point she started wriggling around so that she could face him, trying to do a 180 degree turn in a fold-away _Z-bed_, with someone else in it, was no easy feat. It actually took quite some time, Max was trying to suppress his laughter. Whilst clinging onto her so as she wouldn't just drop off the edge.

Once in position, the mood swiftly changed as she slowly began nuzzling, kissing and nibbling his neck. While he held onto her to keep her firmly next to him.

"Nice work Spider-man..." he breathlessly whispered in her ear.

In one daring move, Max flipped her over so that he was pinning her beneath him. He looked down at her longingly, he loved her so much. Although things had turned out remarkably unexpectedly today. For months this is exactly where he had dreamed he would be tonight... sans the Z-bed.

"Max, it's been... it's been a while." Zoe stammered between kissing his lips eagerly.

"For me too Zoe."

"Sure Max. What has it been a week?" She tickled him as she laughed knowingly.

"August of last year, I believe actually." He kissed her back harder.

"Mmmm. What?!"

"You finally told me you loved me. That night at the hotel remember? That's when I knew you were all I need, I decided in that moment I was coming back for you."

"Oh Max." Zoe gasped, as she put it all together...

"Max do you have anything?"

"Zoe, we're not doing that toy thing again, are we...?"

"Seriously, Max?"

"No, no I don't, can I not just...you know... ?" Kissing her hungrily between his words.

"What pull out, are you serious? Because no-one has ever got into trouble doing it that way, right?"

"Do you have a better suggestion? As this is clearly happening... " Knowing their conversation was going around in circles he began intently working his tongue and fingers over her, she readily willingly accepting his every touch.

"NOW MAX!" Zoe was practically shrieking with desire after a few minutes of him tantalizing her..

"Easy, Zoe. You'll wake Serenna." Max kept having to place his lips over hers to try and keep her cries somewhat suppressed.

Approximately 5 seconds in, the Z-bed collapsed... "Oops, you okay?"

"Fine... Max don't stop!" She said as she exhaled, moaning loudly with pleasure...Being together again with no secrets this time, Zoe really wasn't holding back at all... Max finally able to make-love to her how he had longed for, for so many months...

"Zoe, I'm going to... "

At this point Zoe pulled his hips in closer to her. Kissing him carefully and tenderly as she did. Not letting him pull away.

"What are you doing?" Max whispered breathing hard against her...

"Shhhhhhhh." ...

"Shit, Zoe..."

Still frantically kissing each other a few minutes after, Max took a minute.

"What happened? Or should I say, you do realize what happened?" Gently stroking her hair out of her eyes as he spoke.

"Tomorrow Max, we'll talk tomorrow. I love you." She said it in a lazy whisper but yet so openly and freely, Max had to laugh a little in disbelief.

"You're crazy Zoe, you know that? Also we're pulling an all-nighter, this bed did not die in vain. We have to give it a proper send off..." Pulling her tighter to him and showing her exactly what he had in mind...


	18. Chapter 18

**Please note, anything in reference and relating to OCPs is not necessarily fact &amp; only written as such for convenience for the story. :)**

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Zoe awoke to the smell of coffee and cooked breakfast ... Mmmm something smells really good. She thought to herself, feeling famished.

Stumbling up from her awkward position on the broken bed, she made her way into her bedroom. Surprised to see it was 9.30am already, Serenna was not in her crib either. Quickly pulling her dressing gown from the back of her door, she hurried down the stairs.

"Morning Mamma." Serenna's happy little voice flooded her senses.

Max sauntered over to Zoe, put his arms around her, kissing her firmly. Morning beautiful, he murmured in her ear.

"You gave her breakfast? How did you know what to give her?" Zoe said defensively.

"Well, this may come as a shock to you but she can talk. Also it was breakfast not too hard to figure out." He gave Zoe a look as if to say, I can do this. "Oh and I took a shower, I didn't want to wake you, I didn't think I needed permission?"

"Sorry Max, no you're right. I'm just not used to sharing her, that's all. So it looks like I'm late to the party?"

"That's okay, we saved you some." Max quickly put Zoe's share of the eggs in the microwave and scrambled them up for her over some toast. "Coffee?"

"Mmmm I could get used to this, thank you."

"And I could get used to something else." He winked as he leaned in and kissed her neck, lovingly.

Zoe took a bite of toast... and a sip of coffee. "Oh Max, I'm working swing tonight, so 3pm to 11pm. What are your plans for today?"

"Well first of all, I really want to talk to someone about their antics last night. You letting me have you over and over, was more than incredible." He paused to give her one of his cute cheeky looks. "But I'd like to clear a few things up, that I'm a little confused about." He looked up with a more serious expression.

"You know Max, today's going to be really hard for me. I have to tell everyone that matters at work, about us! About Serenna. Tess is going to be so upset if she finds out Connie knew about everything before I tell her."

"Zoe, are you not wanting to discuss last night?"

"Max, I'll take the _morning after pill_. No big deal. Drop it!"

"Do you have to? Do you have to take it?"

"Well if I don't and we continue sharing a bed..." She looked up to see Max was actually intently listening to her. "I can't take birth-control now, not after last night. We'd have to wait until we know I'm not pregnant and I start my next cycle. This is complicated Max, I'm not exactly regular. So we have choices in the mean time but condoms are really not the one since we don't have a great track record with using them effectively." Looking up at him to roll her eyes. "Or I could just take the morning after pill today and start taking the pill tomorrow and in 7 days we're covered... Is this the kind of conversation you were looking for? I haven't even finished my coffee yet, Christ!"

"I want to wait, I'll wait. Don't take that pill. We're adults, we did what we did. I'd hate to think..."

Zoe followed his gaze to Serenna. "Max, the sperm and egg have probably barely even met yet, if they are meeting at all. You really can't compare." She laughed...

"We'll wait." He picked Serenna up from her chair and took her over to the sink to wipe her sticky fingers. Letting her down, she rushed off and put her cartoons on in the living room.

"I feel like we were going all night, how many times did you ...?" She bit down on her thumb, reality was setting in with a thud.

"I don't know Zoe, I wasn't counting. I was aware that you wouldn't let me try and be safer. If you weren't talking about taking that morning after pill, I'd think you actually wanted to try and get pregnant last night."

"That's ridiculous Max!"

"Is it?" He went over to where she was now standing at the sink with her back to him. He turned her around and began undoing her dressing gown, he slid his hands inside and gently caressed her. She began moaning softly, as he relentlessly teased her. Zoe eventually found his lips with hers as she continued to let him find her every weakness. Her hands started wandering over him feverishly. "Is it Zoe?" He repeated. Her breath caught as he suddenly stopped his intensity under her robe and looked her right in the eye and held her there.

"No, no it isn't." She said quickly, so she could finally push him away and break his spell on her.

"I have to get a shower, and get Serenna ready." Zoe wouldn't even make eye contact with him before she rushed off up the stairs.

"Touché to Max, again." he said smiling to himself.

"Max get those dishes done." Zoe shouted from the top of the stairs.

"On it."


	19. Chapter 19

**Hope that everyone is liking this okay... :) Tx**

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"Tess, it's Zoe. What time are you on shift today? Can we meet for lunch? Okay see you then." Zoe put her phone away, as she took Serenna into her afternoon playgroup.

"Listen Serenna, Daddy is going to pick you up. He's going to take you home on the bus. Isn't that exciting?" Serenna bounced up and down twice and promptly ran off to join her friends. After clearing it with the school and giving them Max's full name, Zoe left to meet Tess for lunch. Zoe was absolutely dreading it.

"This was nice Zoe, we should meet up more often."

"Yes it's been lovely Tess, we really should." Zoe responded, as she finished off the last bite of her wrap. Zoe nervously played with the strap on her bag as it lay to the side of her plate. She could really do with a drink right now, she thought.

"Are you at work later Zoe?"

"Yes 3pm but I'll probably go in any minute. I have some filing to do." She motioned to her bag full of admin. Fuck this is awkward she thought to herself. "Tess?"

"Mmmm?"

"Do you remember Max? He worked at the hospital about 3 or so years ago?"

"Not really Zoe, we go through that many staff, what was his position?"

"Ermmm he was a... a porter." Awkward wasn't the word.

"Oh yes, he took over Mac's position. Bit of a lad wasn't he?"

Zoe was dying inside, this was going about as badly as she had thought it would. "Yes, I think he may have been."

Tess was now looking for something to come of this conversation as Zoe was just staring contentedly at a smudge on her water glass.

"Max? Zoe"

"Oh right yes..."

No good, Tess had lost her again. Zoe now looking out of the window. "He's Serenna's father, isn't he Zoe?"

"What? How do you know?"

"Well I had about 4 minutes of silence to figure that you wouldn't just bring up someone you knew 3 years ago for nothing."

"Oh Tess, I feel like such an idiot for not sharing with you. I'm sorry."

"Well I'm sure you are the one that has suffered. Did you see him that weekend last year, when I had Serenna?"

"Yes... Only I think we are getting back together, properly this time. At least I'm presuming we are, he only arrived here yesterday. He didn't even know about Serenna. It has been the most crazy 24 hours of my entire life."

"Oh Zoe, I hope it all works out for you. For the both of you. He was very charming, I am starting to remember him a little more now."

"He's going to be back in the ED. Only he's now qualified to do some nursing. He's so passionate about it, I'm really excited for him." Zoe smiled happily at Tess.

"That's great Zoe, I look forward to working with him."

"It's not a secret anymore anyway, not that you probably care. I just wanted to tell you.

"Of course I care. Thank you Zoe, I appreciate it."

...

Zoe, took out the huge stack of admin from her bag and got to work filing it. Connie was sitting at her desk but on the phone as per. Zoe had almost finished, when Connie spun around in her chair, to face her. "So, how did it go?"

"It's good Connie, thank you for your support yesterday. I'm sorry to have put you in the middle of Max and I like that. It must have been truly uncomfortable for you."

"I've been through worse, it was actually quite entertaining. I mean that only in the sense that I know everything seems to have worked out for you."

"So does he have Serenna for you now?"

"He's picking her up from playgroup later, yes."

"Well I'm pleased for you Zoe. Good catch!"

Zoe just gave Connie one of her 'wtf' looks... Good catch? What was that? Rolling her eyes as she left the room, some things would just never change.

As Zoe was about to go on her rounds, she was paged to the pharmacy.

"I'm sorry Doctor Hanna but there is nothing here to pick up."

Slightly annoyed, exhaustion hitting her so soon in her shift. Zoe walked toward the stairs, when she was suddenly pulled into the On-Call room.

"Shit, Max you scared me. What are you doing here?"

"I was on my way to pick Serenna up and I thought I'd just drop in and say hi to my favourite baby-mama."

"You're too much Max, you know that!" She went to pull the door open.

"Just one kiss and I'll be gone."

Looking up at him, he certainly had her heart-beating. He really had scared her half to death.

"Just one, don't be late picking up Serenna."

Zoe pulled him toward her to give him an enthusiastic kiss.

"That's what I'm talking about, see you later gorgeous." He practically flew down the stairs and there he was gone.

Zoe was starting to feel like her whole life had turned into some manic reality TV. Show, shaking her head... she went to get a coffee from the machine to take on her rounds. Praying that the rest of the day would be completely monotonous, something that she would normally loath.


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you to my reviewer's I'm glad I know someone is reading this.. helps me keep writing haha x Again anything written as factual is purely based on very loose research or my knowledge which is probably outdated/wrong... so please bear that in mind x**  
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Almost 2 weeks later. Zoe was working swing shift, Max days. This was good for several reasons, the main ones being Serenna was spending quality time with both her parents although separately she was getting into a little routine being at home. She loved every minute of her time with Max in the evenings. He loved having her help him cook with her little play kitchen. They'd always put a plate aside for Zoe when she got home at 11.30pm. The other reason being that Max would spend an hour or two with Zoe when she got home from work but would go to bed much before her as he had to be up so early.

Max's idea of waiting really wasn't proving too difficult at all. He was usually gone by 7, he'd always leave her a little note on the counter.

Max had Friday off this week. When Zoe arrived home on Thursday night, she was in bits. Max poured her, her usual glass of wine. She sat at the table, while he sat across from her holding her hand across the table. He didn't say anything, he just waited for her to be ready to share. He knew better than most that her job was not easy and sometimes she couldn't help but bring it home with her. Especially if it involved children. The one thing Zoe never did was smoke in the house but tonight she took out an ash-trash and lit up, as she drank her wine.

"I couldn't save them Max."

He got up and walked around the table, massaging her shoulders. He just listened as she told him about the whole horrific ordeal.

"Max, I'm sorry it's 2am. You're going to be exhausted tomorrow."

"I'm off tomorrow, it wouldn't matter anyway. I want you to know I'm always here for you." He pulled her close and they stood embraced for a minute or two.

That night, Max was awoken by Zoe. She was unmistakably having a terrible nightmare.

"Zoe, shhhh. Wake up, Zo! He gently shook her awake. I'm here, it's me, everything's okay. Let me go get you a drink of water."

"No Max, don't leave me." She was visibly shaken.

He kissed her gently, as they lay in the moonlight glimmering through the curtains.

She reciprocated, before he knew what he was doing Max had scooped her up in his arms. He carried her through to the spare room, where the Z-bed still lay in a collapsed heap on the floor, delicately he placed her down. They started making-love, only it was on another level this time it was slow, sensual and seductive they didn't take their eyes off each other the whole time. More in-tune than ever before. When they were finally relaxing, Max noticed she was trembling slightly, he wrapped her up in the sheet and carried her back to their bed. Kissing her deeply as he settled her back into their bed, holding her close until morning.

Checking her phone when she awoke, going through her calender notifications. There it was, 'test'. It had been 2 weeks since their unprotected sex escapades. Although she hadn't had a period it meant nothing, she had never been regular not for as long as she could remember. Knowing her HCG levels would definitely be in the 300's by now if she were pregnant, she could take a test and safely start taking the pill. They had only made-love once since, which was last night and she knew Max would have been extra careful with her since he was suddenly such a stickler for the rules.

"Everything alright?" Max spoke sleepily, seeing her deep in thought looking at her phone.

"Yes..." Just as she went to fill him in on the details. Serenna did her usual morning vault out of her crib and onto their bed.

"Hey you!" Max said. As she jumped on the bed landing on him so he could tickle her.

"You know, we should really get her a proper bed, I mean is it even safe for her to be propelling herself out of that every morning? She's not a baby anymore after all."

What if she was the only baby she ever had, Zoe's mind was screaming at her as she listened to Max talking, she suddenly felt like she wanted to vomit.

"I, I was hoping to keep her in it for a bit longer."

"Why? We can do up her room for her. She deserves to be out of that crib Zoe."

"We'll see, can you get her breakfast? I'm going to run a bath."

Feeling extremely emotional with all that happened at work the night before and everything now running through her mind. Zoe started running a bath, while she grabbed the two tests she had ready for today and completed them, just like she had a hundred times before.

Filling the bath as high as she could, Zoe glanced at the tests laying on the side.

Promptly getting into the bath she sunk deliberately to the bottom. Coming up for air when she had no choice, she tried to stifle a sob.

Did she honestly expect she would be pregnant? Was she really and truly that deluded? It would be a long shot for anyone, let alone herself. What if Serenna was it, a miracle. She couldn't promise Max a family, she knew he wanted more children. It was written all over his face when he was with Serenna, he absolutely adored her. Another year Zoe didn't have, she was blatantly aware that when she had Serenna she was pushing her luck. Even if she had been pregnant now, she would be the wrong side of 40 when the baby was born. Her tears had not stopped streaming, all her pain from her past experiences flooding back.

Stepping out of the bath, unable to see her reflection in the steamy mirror. She put her dressing gown and slippers on and padded down the stairs.

Max, took one look at her. "Serenna can you build me a big castle while I talk to Mummy for a minute?" Serenna immediately got busy building. He pulled Zoe into the kitchen.

"We can talk some more Zoe, you don't have to go through these things on your own."

"What? No.. no I'm fine."

"You're not fine, talk to me..."

"It's not work Max, it's just stupid, me stuff. I just took a pregnancy test."

Max felt his throat dry up. "And...?"

The look on his face about killed her. "I'm not pregnant Max, I mean it was highly unlikely and we didn't want that anyway did we?"

"I would have Zoe." Little did Max know he was about to make the biggest mistake he ever could with her.

"I know you would have, Max." She started to weep as tears started spilling uncontrollably.

"We can keep trying it's such early days, don't be so upset..."

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**to be continued.. in the next chapter...**


	21. Chapter 21

**Thank you for the great reviews yesterday.. Loved them! :D Sorry if this chapter is a bit hit and miss it was hard to write. x**

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**...continued.**

Taking a bottle of wine they hadn't finished out of the fridge, Zoe poured herself a glass.

"I understand this has probably been really stressful for you, I do. You're working later though, just keep in mind." He eyed her glass.

"Yes Mum." As she knocked the whole lot back in one.

"I'm not who you need Max, you were wrong." Playing with the rim of her glass, she looked up at him. "You do not need some 100 year old, 99.9% infertile... drunk!" As she poured herself another 1/4 glass and promptly slugged it back. "To be honest, I don't want or need you either. I don't appreciate the headache, it's like having another child. Another child I did not ask for."

"That's a bit harsh."

"Max this isn't some bullshit fairy-tale, I'm already entirely over it." Zoe did not see Serenna had at some point entered the kitchen. "You need to leave Max. I don't want you living here, not even in the spare room."

"Daddy?" Serenna piped up. Her lip quivered and a tear fell from her cheek.

Max knew exactly what he'd done, announcing that he'd wanted her to face one of her biggest fears, to try for another baby. He also knew Zoe would not back down, he understood she meant non of what she was saying but that didn't matter. Serenna now standing in the middle of it, he had to do what Zoe wanted.

Picking Serenna up. "Daddy has to leave now. Mummy's got a bit of a headache and needs some peace and quiet. How about I pick you up tomorrow and take you to the park would you like that?" Max glanced in Zoe's direction because she had better not say anything about him taking their daughter out. Zoe nodded but Max saw her falter as she wiped a tear away.

Having got his things together, Max discovered Zoe and Serenna cuddled up on the couch watching _Finding Nemo_. "Good choice." He bent down to give Serenna a kiss, he brushed Zoe's cheek the same but moved gently past her lips... "bye Zoe." He whispered.

Hearing the door shut, Zoe got up and watched him walk down the road. Her heart-breaking, her whole body convulsed as she sobbed.

"I'll be right back Serenna, she managed."

...

For two weeks Max had made sure to visit Serenna and take her to the park at least every other day, he wanted Zoe to know he wasn't going to be far. If she would just break down her fortress and let him back into her life.

The following weekend, Max made a last minute decision to take Serenna to the zoo. They had the best time, Max cherished every moment with his daughter. Once he got to the door to return Serenna, Max noticed Zoe had been drinking, she wasn't hammered but it was only 4 o'clock in the afternoon.

"Look Mamma, a giraffe!" Serenna waved her new stuffy that plainly had Holby Zoo written on it.

"You took her to the zoo?"

"Yes it was very last minute, I would have asked you too but it wasn't until we were near the train station on our way into town that I thought of it, it's only one stop away. No hard feelings I hope?"

"No, no feelings at all Max."

"Right." Max turned to leave. "You know, you can be a real bitch."

"So what are you still doing here?" She shut the door on him, not wanting it to be like this.. but she just couldn't help herself.

...

It had been about a month since he had left, when Max received a rare phone-call from Zoe.

"Max?"

"Yes, what do you want?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm just leaving work now, why? Is Serenna okay, do you need me to collect her or something?"

"No she's at the babysitter until 6.30pm. I need you to come by the house as soon as you can, let yourself in. You still have your key?"

"Yes, what's going on?"

"Just hurry yeah."

She sounded like she was in pain, Max jumped into a taxi and got to the house rushing up the path to open the door...


	22. Chapter 22

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Letting himself in. Max found her at the bottom of the stairs and about a foot away, out of her reach, a spilled wine glass.

"Zoe!"

"I know, I'm ouch... I can't get up. I figured you'd be finishing around 3pm. So I kind of have been here for a while, I didn't want anyone else coming." As she nodded toward the wine glass. "I'm sober."

"You don't smell it."

"Thanks Max, always the charmer."

"Well we have to get you to hospital, you've probably broken something."

"I've just twisted my ankle, I'm sure." She winced as she tried to move again.

"I can call a taxi, an ambulance?"

"NO, I want to get cleaned up a bit first. I can't go in looking like this."

"Well I'd say it's a sign. If everything is so peachy in your life now I've gone, why the daytime drinking?"

Zoe just buried her face in her hands. "I can't do this with you now. Could you get me my toothbrush, a flannel and a couple bowls of water? Ooo my make-up too you know where it is?"

Max picked the wine glass up as he got up. "How are you looking after Serenna, if you're drinking like this?"

"Like what? I just had a couple with lunch."

"And yesterday?"

"I know, I know, I'm done Max. I have had the last hour or two to really sit and reflect trust me. I'm so bloody embarrassed, why do you think I called you? You are the only person that has ever been there for me, no matter what."

"No matter what." He confirmed. "Whatever you think, everything I want is in this house. Nothing else, just the two people that live here, no more no less."

"So we're still doing this now? Talk about taking advantage, if I could get up I'd sling you out." She gave him a half smile.

"Oh I know you would, don't worry."

"Max, look I know you think you mean it, it's all very knew 'us' but what about in a couple of years. Serenna and I we won't be enough for you.

I just know it. I was there remember, my office, Connie, the pictures! I saw how devastated you were when you realized all you had missed out on with Serenna. I can never give you that back, if you stay with me you will never have those moments with your newborn son or daughter. I had no right to take that away from you but I did and now I get to live with that decision for the rest of my life."

"Well did you ever stop to consider that maybe your decisions need to stop being just your decisions and become our decisions? " Max helped her up from the floor, after calling a taxi and calling ahead to Serenna's babysitter to let her know they were coming for her earlier. "Come on Spider-man, let's go get you fixed up."

As the three of them pulled up to the ED in the taxi, Max jumped out to get a wheelchair. "So what's the story? I'm assuming after all this trouble, it isn't that you fell in a drunken stupor down the stairs."

"That's not what happened, I felt funny at the top of the stairs and lost my balance."

"Okay, so same thing then?"

"Shut-up Max."

It was a good job they had Serenna with them, her presence certainly helped take some of the heat and questions off Zoe being wheeled into the ED.

Tess followed them into the cubicles and drew the curtains. "What has happened here, Zoe?"

"I, I felt a bit wobbly and ended up at the bottom of the stairs at home. Just an X-ray for my left ankle, I'm sure nothing's broken but it is pretty painful."

"I thought you were out of town today, doing some bidding for Connie?"

"It got cancelled, so I just stayed home to do some paperwork."

"Okay, have you eaten today?"

"Yes, breakfast."

"Any headaches with the dizziness?"

"No, it was just a moment. Nothing is wrong, you know me. I never get sick."

"I'm going to run some routine bloods etc, just to be sure. We can't have you passing out all over the place, certainly not at the top of stairs."

"I didn't pass-out Tess, just .."

"Yes, I know... you just had a moment!" Turning around to the nurse that was in the cubicles with them Tess gave clear instructions. "I want the results of those bloods before she gets sent up for X-ray. Now who has my Serenna?" Tess rushed off.

"That was good, she believed you. Except those blood results are going to show you up."

"It's not illegal to have a drink at lunchtime Max, don't make me regret calling you." She said in a warning tone.

20 minutes later, Tess returned with her notes. "Let's see." She scanned up and down the paperwork. "Your blood alcohol is a little elevated." Tess gave Zoe a look.

"Oh that was me." Max interrupted. "I took her out for lunch. What good is lunch without a glass or three of wine?" He coughed.

"Can I read the rest or do you want to be alone?"

"It's fine Tess, Max actually knows more about me than I do. Not joking."

"Does he know that you are pregnant?"

"No, no I'm not I took tests weeks ago."

"Well according to your blood results you most definitely are. Congratulations!" Tess seeing their confused and shocked faces quickly interjected... "I'll be back in a minute, we'll get you an ultra-sound while you're here."

As soon as Tess made herself scarce, Max was at Zoe's side. "You said you weren't"

"I wasn't, I don't understand..."

"Well I'm not complaining, Max beamed."

"I just don't see how though, it would be like immaculate conception."

"No, it's my super sperm." He kissed her cheek.

"Max, not now I need to think."

"Look what I found." Tess and the nurse wheeled in the ultra-sound equipment. "Do you want me to get Serenna?"

"No, not yet."

"Alright this will feel a little cold." After a minute Tess was hovering the wand right around Zoe's womb. "Well we have a definite tiny cluster of cells there. You're only about 4 weeks along."

Zoe's mind raced, he wasn't even with her... and then it hit her. That night, the night he had carried her into the spare room. The night she would remember for the rest of her life, no one had ever made-love to her like that before.

"Tess could you give us a minute?"

"Absolutely, I need to see about getting your ankle seen to. I have no idea what's taking them so long."

"Max?"

"Mmmm?"

"The night, the night before you left. Do you remember?"

"Of course I remember, I'll never forget, it was our last time Zoe." He said with true anguish.

"Did you ejaculate before or after you pulled out?"

"Zoe!"

"Just answer the bloody question."

Max put his hand to his forehead for a few seconds. "I... I ... shit Zoe I did, I .. it was before." He paused. "After we were so careful. I was so... so intoxicated with you that night..."

"You didn't think to mention it?"

"Zoe I've only just... and you threw me out! Hold on a minute you do realize your reason for us not to be together is now null and void, how fucking brilliant are we?"

"Max, you need to calm down. Something could happen it's too soon to get excited. You do comprehend that the baby is not a baby right now and is the size of a poppy seed?"

"Really?"

"Yes so please, for me... "

An hour or so later and they were finally able to leave the ED. Zoe a hairline fracture to the end tip of her fibula. Although in an Aircast, it was thankfully very minor and could have been much worse!

Tess ran after them with a bag of chocolate buttons for Serenna. "Look after your beautiful family Max." She hugged Zoe. "I'm so happy for you. Oh and please trade the alcohol for prenatal vitamins, I'm not completely naive Zoe."

"I will, thank you Tess. You really are a good friend."


	23. Chapter 23

**I hope this is okay, bit distracted today! I'd love to keep updating daily I hope it's not too much, hopefully I can find the time. If you're still loving it please leave a review... even if you just slightly like it... ) Still working on the grammar but there really is no hope!**

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That night,

"Max, I may just sleep down here for the next night or two. It takes ages getting up and down those stairs, would you bring the mattress down from the spare room?"

He came back in a flash with it, and placed it down and then placing the couch seat cushions next to it.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to stay with you, no more head-games Zoe."

"Oh Max, you could do so much better."

"So could you." he laughed... "Jesus, enough with the self-hatred... it won't work on me. Still here, won't leave, I love you. Will you ever get it?"

"No."

Thankfully it was now the weekend, so Zoe was able to rest up and keep the pressure off her ankle.

"I'm taking Serenna into town, we'll be back with lunch." He kissed her fully, Zoe noticed he had a tape measure in his hand.

"What are you up to?"

"It's a surprise." He winked.

Getting back a little later than expected. "Take that into Mummy, Serenna she must be starving."

"Hey, where have you been?"

"Sorry Zoe we got a bit carried away." He came in laden with bags and paint cans. "Tell Mummy, what we got you."

"I got a big bed, Mamma. It's pink!" Serenna squealed with delight...

"They're delivering it tomorrow, so I'm going to paint her room this afternoon. We got matching everything for her room, didn't we?"

"Yep, yep." Serenna clapped her hands and span in circles across the room toward the bags.

"Mummy wasn't going to do it, so Daddy had to right?" He kissed Zoe. "Mmmm sandwich, is it good?"

"Definitely, I didn't think you were coming back."

Zoe spent the afternoon listening to the shrieks of laughter coming from upstairs. She couldn't be more in love with them if she tried. Could she really let herself be happy? The more she went through her doubts the more they just seemed so unjustified.

Getting up from the couch, she started up the stairs to join them. "Wow, it really is quite pink!"

"Tomorrow night, Serenna is going to get to sleep in her new bed in her very own room, aren't you?"

"Am so excited." She said with the cutest happy face ever.

"I get to have Mummy, all to myself." He touched Zoe's nose with a blob of pink paint and laughed.

"Oh, genius! I knew there was an ulterior motive in there." She wiped the paint off her nose with her finger and onto his cheek.

"That was seriously sexy what you just did then, you're lucky I'm on a mission to complete this." He put another blob of paint back on her nose... "Do you want me to carry you and Bean downstairs?"

"Bean?"

"You know, the poppy seed."

"Max, you've named it? You know what they say, I don't want to.. I don't want us to get our hopes up too much. Let's give it a bit more time, we would be beyond devastated if we lost it and you naming it isn't going to help."

He pulled her chin up and kissed her. "You need to stop worrying, you know you're quite the pessimist."

"That comes from life experience Max, trust me there are some things you don't want to have to go through."

"I know, I know, it's just hard not to get excited. So can I carry you and thou-that-shall-not-be-named down the stairs?"

"You make me want to scream sometimes."

"Well that is why we're moving Serenna out, right?"

"Max!"


	24. Chapter 24

**Thank you again to those of you that have left reviews.. It really means a lot, and as ever if you have the time please leave one. I love reading them :) xx**

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Monday came too soon, as Zoe entered the ED for her 3pm shift.

"Afternoon Zoe, a word please."

"Connie hi, did you have a nice weekend?"

"Tess has been filling me in on your events, let's go talk in the office if you wouldn't mind?"

Zoe reluctantly followed, anything for a quiet life though and if that meant appeasing Connie then so be it.

"Nice boot."

"You're funny!"

"So, you and Max have been at it like rabbits?"

"I beg your pardon!"

"Well he's only been back 5 minutes and your already expecting another one?"

"What happened to patient confidentiality?"

"It's not Tess's fault, I was concerned about your behaviour lately.."

"My behaviour?" Zoe interrupted pointedly.

"I thought you had been acting erratically recently. I guess Tess felt she had no option but to share your news. When is it due?" Connie asked flippantly

"February."

"Well you're not very far along Zoe."

"I'm quiet aware of that, thank you."

"Max is still leaving for Birmingham?"

"Birmingham?"

"Yes."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh Zoe, you have got to be kidding me! He hasn't told you?"

"Well yes I'm aware he was wanting to do a course in Birmingham, I just didn't know he'd spoken to you about it." Zoe tried to keep her composure.

"He barged in here about 2 weeks ago, just as I was leaving. Wanting to take 3 months leave from September, he was also muttering something about a giraffe but he lost me. He was in a really strange mood actually."

"A giraffe?" Zoe looked blankly at Connie but then the penny dropped. "Shit!"

"I have no idea what goes on between the two of you but I really could do without being the messenger. I've had to tell him he's got a 2 year old daughter with you and now I'm having to tell you that he's abandoning you for 3 months right around the time your second child is due. You are telling him about this one I take it?"

"Yes, of course I am."

"Maybe the pair of you need to be doing a little less fucking and a little more talking!"

"Oh go to hell Connie!" Zoe had about as much as she could take and left the office slamming the door. It wasn't often she'd let Connie get the better of her but even she knew there was no winning this one.

Zoe couldn't stop herself from shaking. That woman really knew how to push her buttons.

"Oh no, Zoe. I'm too late aren't I, I was just coming to warn you."

"You could say that Tess!"

"Please understand, I had no choice. She was drilling me with questions over how you've been this last couple of weeks. I just wanted to stop her in her tracks, she was like a dog with a bone."

"It's fine Tess and I'm sorry to have been such a mess lately. Max and I..."

"Zoe you really don't need to explain, so long as things are okay now?"

"Yes, everything couldn't be better." Zoe lied, she had obviously hurt Max so much over these past couple of weeks. Yet he had just kept coming back for more.

Getting home at just gone 11.30pm, Max was in the kitchen just getting himself a beer. "Hey babe, how was your day? Oh you don't mind do you? I can get rid of it." He gave a look toward his beer.

"No, I have no interest in it, Max?" He looked up as she came toward him and kissed him hungrily. "I've missed you today."

"I can tell."

"I'm going to take a shower, fancy it?" She said to him with a cheeky wink.

"Do I!" He promptly swept her off her feet. He'd already practically unzipped her from her dress as they got to the bedroom. "Now all I have to do is get you out of this contraption and you're all mine." He ripped at the Velcro straps on her boot.

"Max." She giggled at him trying to be careful, yet not careful all at the same time.

"Got ya." He whisked her off the bed and within moments they were in the shower. Zoe firmly gripping him around his shoulders her nails digging in firmly, as she kissed him feverishly, in one movement he had her where he wanted her, she cried out as he entered her the steaming water pounding over them.

He continued to hold her up long after they were done, breathlessly kissing each other. He slammed the water off quickly without letting her down, grabbing a towel on his way out of the bathroom he threw it over the bed and lay her down still soaking wet and within seconds he was within her again...

"You need to miss me more often."

"I thought about you all day."

"Did you now," he kissed her tenderly as she danced her lips up and down his neck sucking softly on his gorgeous scent.

"I love you." She whispered as she carried on tantalizing him with her kisses.

"I love it when you tell me that." He said softly, he kissed her lips one more time before getting up to take a couple of warm towels from the airing cupboard. He took his time drying her and combing her hair in between kissing and nuzzling her softness.

"Ohh Max, I'm on days tomorrow." She groaned looking at the time.

"Days eh! I need you to bring your paperwork up to the cupboard tomorrow, it's been a long time since that table has been used in the way it was intended!"

"You have a one track mind." She laughed and snuggled into his chest as he pulled her close.


	25. Chapter 25

**This is just a short one, I realize my chapters may have been getting a bit out of control. I apologize.. xx**

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Max and Zoe finally working their first full shift together since his return. They walked hand in hand into the ED, at least until they got to the doors.

"Too much?"

"Mmm." Zoe let go of his hand, before going through the double doors.

Later that morning, Max was preparing resus while Zoe worked on a patient next to him. When Connie came in doing her once over with her clipboard.

"No, Max don't put that there put it on this side please."

Zoe looked up to see Connie scrutinizing him.

"Max, turn to the side again. Not that side the other side, oh for goodness sake it's like working with a couple of teenagers. Zoe take your boy and get him presentable please, this is a work place. You especially should be setting an example."

"What? I'm in the middle of something here, what is it now?"

"On his neck." Connie was now pointing.

There were some VERY faint marks but nothing noticeable, had they not been blatantly pointed out.

"Take him and cover it up or do something! Go on hurry up."

Zoe did a big hands up in the air dropping everything gesture as Max followed her out.

"Honestly those two." They heard Connie saying as they left the room.

Zoe took Max into the locker room, while she looked through the first aid kit. "I'd try and cover it with make-up but there's no point there's nothing there it will make it look like there is and anyway our skin tones don't match." As she picked out a band-aid from the box and started peeling it open.

"The last time you left marks was when I was leaving. The train station, I remember your horrified face." Max laughed reminiscing.

"There really is nothing there this time, Connie has just fixated on us for some reason." Zoe placed the band-aid on his neck and then kissed it. "Max." She took a deep breath. "I know about Birmingham."

"Birmingham? Oh crap, I'd forgotten. Connie told you?... Of course she did! Zoe I.. it was in the heat of the moment. It was after I'd dropped Serenna home after taking her to the zoo, I would never have made a decision like that without talking to you under any circumstance, I swear."

"Max I know, and you must still go."

"Absolutely not, not with the baby coming. That would be..." He did some rough calculations in his head. "Way too close."

"No it wouldn't, I want you to go. It would be better to get it out of the way before the baby comes anyway."

"I was planning on coming back every weekend for Serenna, Serenna and you." He kissed her sincerely.

Getting back into resus, Zoe went to claim back her position with her patient. "Thank you Connie, I've got this."

"Classy Max." Connie said but looked right at Zoe. Zoe just brushed past her and carried on.


	26. Chapter 26

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A couple of weeks had gone by. Zoe had taken off her Aircast boot a little early but there wasn't going to be much keeping her in it unless she absolutely had to wear it. She did at least take Max's advice and wear slightly lower heels. She was working back on swing shift and Max day's, even though he tried to make her sleep in, Zoe would insist on getting up to make him and Serenna their breakfast most mornings.

Zoe finding Max in the kitchen early one morning. She reached out to touch his side gently as he stood with his back to her while he stirred his tea. "I'm bleeding." She said trying to be matter of fact but immediately burst into tears.

"Oh Zoe, no." He said calm and quietly.

She nodded as her breath caught on a sob.

"We need to get you to the hospital, quickly. I'll grab Serenna."

"Max, there's nothing they can do. I'll just have to go in to make sure it's all gone." Her heart was breaking..

"I'm calling a taxi, we can drop Serenna off on the way. Shhhhh, come here..." He pulled her into him "Shhhhhhh.. go and get what you need and I'll call a taxi."

They headed into the Maternity Ward. Max explained and Zoe just clung onto him looking lost and frightened. They soon got shown into a cubicle but had to wait some time to see a nurse.

"I'm so sorry Max."

"Hey, do not say you are sorry. It's going to be the 3 of us, that is all that is meant to be. I'm so blessed to have you and Serenna, Zoe. You've given me more than I could ever wish for."

"But it was going to be the 4 of us. I wanted to give you this baby so badly." Her tears streamed down her face.

Max went and sat beside her on the bed. "This doesn't alter anything Zoe. Nothing will ever change how I feel about you, do you hear me?" He shook her gently to make sure she was looking right at him.

An obstetric nurse finally arrived, bringing with her the ultra-sound equipment. She looked down at Zoe's chart. "So when did the bleeding start Zoe?"

"When I woke up this morning."

"Was it more than spotting?"

"Yes." Zoe said in a whisper.

"Okay you lie back for me." The nurse had the monitor facing away from them and tears just gently fell from Zoe's cheeks. Max holding her hand so tightly.

"I love you Zoe, you're so brave." The nurse looked up at Max and gave him a kind smile.

After a minute or two of what seemed like forever, the nurse turned the speaker on and turned the monitor around.

"That is your little one's heart-beat, you are measuring about 7-8 weeks and everything looks perfectly fine!"

Zoe, carefully turned to look at the screen. Her tears immediately turning into tears of joy.

"Hear that Zo, Bean is fine!"

"Your baby is about the size of a bean right now" the nurse laughed. "Zoe bleeding in the first trimester can be scary but sometimes it's normal too. If you have any more worries do not hesitate to come back in and see us okay?"

"Yes thank you," Zoe got up wiping her tears away.

"Well Tess has given me the day off. I'm taking the two of you out for lunch."

"Max, I'm emotionally exhausted. Please can we just go home?"

"Okay but I'll be right back"

Zoe got her stuff together as Max returned with a gorgeous big fluffy rabbit. "It's not for you it's for Bean. I know it's still early Zoe but let's just be thankful for today and celebrate."

"Bean will love it Max." She tiptoed up to kiss him and he lifted her up in response to kiss her deeply and devoutly.


	27. Chapter 27

**Thank you so much for the comments from yesterday's chapter. This one is really just a timeline filler, I may look at figuring a way of wrapping it up soonish like before so I don't end up with too many of these... 5 more chapters minimum though so no panic! haha x**

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Zoe came downstairs, to find Max and someone who she assumed was Serenna totally covered in flour. "We made cupcakes Mamma."

"I can see that!" Zoe looking around at the chaos.

"Close your eyes Zoe. Give me a minute though..." he laughed. "Okay you're good, open them!"

"It's not my birthday Max." He was stood presenting her with a cupcake with a candle on top.

"No, it's Bean's 12 weeks. My book says... "

Zoe eyed the book that was never far from Max, _What to expect when you're expecting_. "You and that book Max!"

"Are you going to let me finish?" He grabbed the book with his free hand.. "It says that after 12 weeks the risks are much less. So..."

"So you thought you'd bake!" Zoe laughed.

He grabbed her by the waist pulling her in close. "Watch it you." He kissed her for as long as he could hold onto her.

"Serenna needs to be at a party in an hour."

"Does that mean I get you all to myself for the afternoon?"

"Not if you don't get this kitchen cleaned up you don't."

He flicked her with the tea-towel. "You're on."

When Zoe got back from dropping Serenna off, Max was leaning up against the kitchen counter reading his book. She casually sauntered up to him. "So what's going on in the book? Anything unexpected?"

Her fingers wandered under his shirt she started feeling her way to the button of his jeans. "Kiss me Max." She grasped his shirt as he helped her pull it off, he ripped at her buttons on her blouse. She kissed him down his torso as she finished undoing him from his jeans her mouth wandered down to him.

He was moaning as she continued... saying her name and the odd four-letter word.

"Now who's making all the noise!" She said under her breath.

Before she could continue he lifted her up in his arms, carried her toward the living room and hiking her skirt up he bent her over the arm of the couch. He powerfully entered her from behind, when he was finally done he gently pulled her up as he withdrew and turned her around.

"You were saying?" Raising his eyebrows.

"As soon as I'm able to walk normally again, I'll get you for that."

"Make sure you do!" He kissed her fervently. "Let me make it up to you." He gathered her up again taking her upstairs. Where he gently kissed her inch by inch, massaging her painstakingly until she was sleeping peacefully.

"I love you Zoe Hanna." He breathed into her ear.

A couple of hours later, he had already picked Serenna up from her party. "Let's go wake up Mummy and you can show her your balloon?" Max didn't need to say anymore, Serenna was already half way up the stairs.

"Did you have a lovely time?" Zoe stretched as Serenna cuddled up to her. "Are you tired? Should we all cuddle up and watch a movie in Mummy and Daddy's bed?"

Max put one of Serenna's Disney dvd's on. "This moment Zoe, this moment is perfect." He said as he lay down next to her putting his arm around them both.

Serenna had fallen asleep during the movie. "Our little party girl is all partied out." Max smiled at his sleeping daughter.

"Oh Max, don't even say that. Can you imagine what we have to come when she's all grown up. That will be pay back, not to mention we have this one up and coming too." She gently placed her hand over her abdomen.

"You know, soon we can find out what we're having. Did you find out with Serenna?"

"Yes but the circumstances were different. It was more a way of believing it was all real. Do you want to find out Max?"

"I do." He lovingly placed his hand where hers was.

"You want a boy don't you?"

"I would absolutely love a boy or another little girl. I just want this baby Zoe." He kissed her. "What were you going to call Serenna if she was a boy?"

"I wasn't, Serenna was never a boy. I found out everything in the space of a few minutes. Including that I was pregnant!"

"Do you have any names you like Max, other than Bean?" She asked him.

"What's wrong with Bean? I should get a baby name book."

"Yes, yes you should." Zoe laughed.

"It must have been really hard, you know before with Serenna. I wish I could have been there for you."

"I know you do, let's not Max. It still hurts too much what I did."

"Shhhhhh" He kissed her forehead softly.

"I can't believe their due dates are only days apart."

"It was meant to be Zoe, we were meant to be."

"The more you say that, the more I'm starting to believe you're right." She said in a whisper as she cuddled into his chest.


	28. Chapter 28

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They didn't go for a 12 week scan, having had one at 7 weeks. Zoe wanted to wait until she was 16 weeks. Especially as she knew Max wanted to find out what they were having and she wanted him to have that before he left for college, which was now only a week away. Despite having busy schedules and having to try and find a time they could both make an appointment the day had finally arrived.

"Here goes, I can't help but feel nervous Max. I hope everything will be okay."

"So do I Zoe but no matter what we will get through it together." He knew she was worried, she had been up all night tossing and turning.

When the doctor came in she recognized Zoe from the ED. "Hi Zoe, so how have you been feeling so far?"

"Perfectly fine actually, it has me a little worried to be honest."

"I see you were here at 7 weeks." The doctor now reading Zoe's notes on the computer. "Did you have any complications with your first pregnancy?"

"No, it was very straight forward."

"Well let's take a look and a listen."

Zoe felt like her whole world may come crashing down any moment, she was absolutely terrified of hearing the doctor speak again.

Almost immediately she heard it, she heard her babies heart-beating like crazy.

"Baby has a nice strong heart-beat." The doctor smiled happily at them.

"Does it look okay? Is everything alright?" Zoe spoke trying to stay calm and trying not to move around too much by trying to take a look herself.

"Let me take a few measurements and I'll let you know. Were you wanting to find out the gender today?"

"We would if you get to see, yes." Zoe smiled at Max, who looked white as a sheet. "Reality setting in?" She laughed.

"I'm just so amazed and thankful Zoe." He said not taking his eyes off the monitor.

"Well baby is measuring right at 16 weeks and everything looks great. Do you have a little boy or girl at home Zoe?"

"Serenna, she will be 3 in February." Zoe smiled.

"Well you can tell Serenna, that she has a baby sister."

"Oh my gosh, Zoe." Max couldn't contain his emotions and tears rolled down his cheeks as he went over to kiss her about 50 times.

"Max" She laughed. "I'm sorry about us." She said to the doctor jokingly.

"Let me go and print you off a sonogram picture of her. I'll be right back."

Zoe and Max both beamed at each other, he pulled her close to him kissing her fully now that they were alone. "I couldn't be happier. Can we tell Serenna when we get home?"

"I don't know Max, it's still an awfully long wait for her. Let's think about it some more."

When they'd put Serenna to bed that evening, Zoe went into the kitchen to help Max with the dishes. "I've been thinking about what you were saying about telling Serenna about the baby. With you leaving next weekend maybe we could tell her then? Give her something to focus on, she's so close to you Max I'd hate to think of her little heart hurting when you have to leave."

"That's a good idea, I can't believe I won't be around during the week. It's going to be so hard, I'm going to miss you both like crazy."

"We're going to miss you more." Zoe nestled into him as he pulled her close. "I'll be the size of a house come December when you're finally home."

"You'll be the most beautiful house I'll have ever seen." He kissed the top of her head. Knowing he was going to miss her beyond belief.


	29. Chapter 29

**I will probably not have time to update for the next couple of days, for obvious reasons. I hope everyone that reads this has a good one... ;0) xx**

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Max was due to leave on the Sunday. Zoe was completing her Friday shift, knowing that for the next 3 months she would not have him to return home to in the evenings.

"What's going on Zoe? You look like someone kicked your puppy."

"Oh no, it's nothing Connie. Really nothing."

"No go on, I can see something is wrong."

"Max, Max is leaving for Birmingham on Sunday. He'll be home every weekend though, I'm just going to miss him."

"Well in your position, you're probably right to be worried."

"What does that mean? I never said I was worried."

"Oh it doesn't matter, don't mind me. If you think about it, he'll be away at college almost as long as he's been back with you."

Zoe was about to object but no Connie was right.

"That really helps Connie." Zoe sucked in her lips until she made a smacking noise, and walked off.

"You know where I am if you need to talk." Connie shouted after her, to which Zoe just shook her head.

Getting home that evening. "That woman drives me up the bloody wall Max. How am I ever going to put up with her with you gone?"

"You two have always had a pretty volatile relationship. I truly think she'd have your back though."

"You have more confidence in her than I do. So are you all packed?" Zoe trailed her eyes to the bottom of the stairs where his bags were sitting.

"Almost! I've been looking at the train time-table, I can be home every Saturday for noon and I won't need to leave until 4pm on Sunday."

Zoe felt her heart drop. "4? That seems kind of early."

"It's a Sunday Zoe, there's only a couple of times."

"Oh."

"Come on cheer-up, I haven't gone yet. You know we should get a babysitter for tomorrow night and go get wwww ... go, go have dinner."

Zoe was stunned for a second.. she knew what he was going to say. "You were going to say get wasted or something weren't you!"

"Yeah, sorry I .. I don't know why I'd even say that. Obviously I'm an idiot."

"Already in the party college mood, maybe I should be worried." Her mind immediately on what Connie had just said to her.

"Oh don't be silly. As if."

Zoe started having a really uneasy feeling. How had she allowed herself to fall so in love with him. This wasn't going to end well. She really did actually need a drink or a cigarette. "Max I've just remembered something I have to go back to work and get some paperwork. I won't be long." She had to get out of there.

Getting in her car and looking through the glove-box sure enough there was a half finished pack of Silk-Cut. She drove into town and drove in circles with her music blasting, while managing to smoke her way through a few. Feeling somewhat more in control she chastised herself over and over. Since when did you need a man to be strong? She said over and over to herself, pull yourself together Zoe Hanna.

Getting back home. She wanted to rush up to the bathroom to brush her teeth but he was there at the bottom of the stairs, messing around with his bags.

"Did you get what you needed?"

"What?"

"At work?" He went toward her to hold her, when she dodged his kiss. He knew something was up. "Have you been smoking!"

"Max."

"You have, you're smoking?" He said with alarm.

"No, no I'm not. I just had a half I swear, I haven't smoked since we found out."

"Zoe, the baby!"

"Max it was a half a cigarette in practically 4 months. Over reacting?"

He kissed her now hard and desperately. "This is because of earlier isn't it? You think I can't wait to get out of here and go party. You're wrong, you couldn't be more wrong, I want to go out and get bladdered so I don't have this feeling, this feeling that I'm not going to be having you with me every night, that I'm not going to be here for you when you need me. You think this is easy for me?"

Zoe placed her finger over his lips, her heart aching..."Max." She felt tears stinging her eyes. "Max, take me to bed."

He took her hand and led her slowly up the stairs...

...

The next morning.

Serenna was already aware that her Daddy was going to be going away, however she really didn't have a concept of it but she was definitely being more clingy toward him than normal. Zoe attributed that to the general mood in the house, rather than the fact that Serenna actually understood.

"You know it's good that we are telling her this morning, because... " Max put his hand on Zoe's abdomen. "you really are starting to show." He leaned down to kiss her tummy. "We don't want someone else asking or telling her."

"I wasn't showing like this with Serenna, at least not for another month. I'm actually starting to feel a lot more flutters too now." Zoe smiled at him. "I can't wait for you to be able to feel the baby kick from the outside Max." Zoe held on to his hand as he rested it on her baby bump.

He kissed her soundly for a few moments. "Ready?"

Zoe nodded with a smile.

"Serenna, come her. Daddy has something exciting to tell you."

Serenna was on his knee in a second, she really was a daddy's girl. "Now listen carefully. I got this special book for you it's called _I'm a Big Sister_. You see there is a little girl in the story just like you and her Mummy has had a baby. So that little girl has such an important job of being a big sister and helping her Mummy look after the little baby. Do you think you would like a baby to come live here with you?"

"A baby, for me?" Serenna was wide eyed and happily looking around.

Zoe gave Max a look as if to say, uh-oh.

"Serenna give me your hand." Max placed her hand on Zoe's tummy. "The baby will grow right here inside Mummy until it is a bit bigger. So Serenna when it's almost your birthday, Mummy is going to have the baby. We both think that you would make a fantastic big sister, what do you think?"

"Yes, yes, yes..." Serenna took the book off Max and jumped down onto the rug and started looking at all the pictures. She pointed to the little girl and called her Serenna and the baby, Serenna's baby.

"Job done." Max smiled and kissed Zoe. "See nothing to worry about."

"You're so amazing with her." She pulled him toward her to share an intimate kiss. Zoe not wanting to let go. "Don't leave me Max."

"I'm not leaving you. I'm just a train journey away, or you could drive up anytime and see me in under 2 hours, you know that Spider-man." He looked deep into her eyes. "You can trust me Zoe. We will have the best Christmas ever, finally we can really start looking forward. You'll see."


	30. Chapter 30

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Zoe was able to take Max up to Birmingham, Tess had offered to babysit Serenna for them. Max hadn't wanted Zoe to drive him as it was a 3.5 hour round trip but he was glad that she was. It meant the world to him to be able to have her with him.

Making their way up to the dorm's, Zoe couldn't help but notice the abundance of young woman moving in.

Eventually they found the door with Max's name on it, apparently he would be sharing with a David Lewis. Just as Max put his bag down on the bed closest to the window. A very attractive girl came in, she went right up to Zoe and introduced herself.

"Hi, I'm Kate. I'm next door."

"Ahh well I'm Zoe and I'm in Holby, this is Max he is moving in."

"Oh I'm sorry, I just assumed.. You look like you could be a nurse." Kate smiled.

"Do I? Well close, I'm actually a doctor."

"Oh I do apologize, it's great to meet you."

"Max hi, nice to meet you too."

Just as Kate was about to leave. A young guy was standing reading the sign on the door.

Max went over. "Hey David?"

"Dave, you must be Max?"

"Yes. This is _my_ Zoe, and apparently our new neighbour Kate."

"Nice to meet you all." Dave shook everyone's hand.

Zoe felt like she should probably let them get on with it, she didn't want to stand in Max's way of making new friends. As much as she would love to have stayed with him longer, she knew she had a long drive back.

"Max, I think I'm going to make a move back."

"What no, we should go get something to eat at least."

Kate excused herself. "Bye Zoe, lovely to meet you."

"Likewise." Zoe said kindly.

"So what about it? Can we go get some food?"

"Max, you and Dave can go. Really I want to start back."

Max walked her down to the car. "Zoe, I don't want you to feel awkward here."

"I don't Max. I really wasn't planning on staying long."

He held onto her hands. "I can't believe you're leaving me already."

"Max you'll be fine there's at least 100 people up there, now go. We'll see you on the weekend. Go on, you're missing out on all the fun." She kissed him on the cheek.

"Is that all I get? Come here." He drew her in close, kissing her softly and gently for many minutes before finally letting her go. "I love you, I'll see you soon."

"I love you too, bye Max." She immediately turned away so as not to make it any harder and got into her Audi and sped off.

Max watched until he could no longer see her car. He made his way back up to his room.

Kate was in their room again. "Here's Max, Max this is my room-mate Mel."

"Hey." Max smiled.

Dave interjected. "Max and I were just going to look for somewhere to get some food, if you guys wanted to join us?"

"Sure." Mel said immediately. "That would be great."

They ended up at the McDonald's across the street. Where they all discussed the courses and length's of time they were staying. Max being the shortest the girls were 2 years and Dave a year.

As they all sat talking, Max was thinking about Zoe, she seemed so far away already and she'd only just left. He got out his phone and pulled up his camera-roll. He couldn't help but smile as he flicked through all the pictures of Serenna, Serenna and Zoe.

"Max? Earth to Max." Mel had been trying to get his attention.

"Sorry I was miles away."

"I noticed. I wanted to hit a pub and then maybe a club but these want to get back. How about you, you up for it?"

"No, I don't do clubs any more."

"Well how about we go get some cans, do you like bottled or canned beer."

"Both!" They laughed.

"Seriously though, I'm just going to head back and unpack. You don't mind do you?"

"Yeah me too actually." Dave excused himself.

"Well you know where we are if you fancy joining us." Mel winked.

"Poor Kate. She looks like she has her hands full with her new roomie. Dave exclaimed."

"You're not wrong there." Max gave him a crazy look.


	31. Chapter 31

**Thank you guys for your continued support for this story... Means a lot. :0)**

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Max couldn't believe he was already making the phone call he had hoped he wouldn't have to make. Especially short notice it was already Friday lunchtime, he hadn't even made it home one weekend yet.

"Zo, I wanted to speak to you rather than text you. Not going to be able to make it home this weekend. We have to complete something over the weekend that involves me actually being here. If I could bring it home I would."

"Max I knew this would happen, Serenna is thinking you are coming home tomorrow, she's going to be devastated."

"I'm so sorry, I hate this. Can I speak to her?"

"You could call tonight, I'm at work right now. Obviously."

"Sorry babe, trust me..."

"Yep, listen I have to go. Call me some time."

"Zoe."

"Yes."

"Sorry."

"I know."

Zoe was shattered, she hadn't been sleeping well since he left. So his first weekend home he was going to be a no show. She knew she'd have to pick up the pieces with Serenna and take her out somewhere to make it up to her.

"You okay Zoe? You look a little fatigued."

"I'm fine, Tess."

"Well won't be long now, Max will be home with you tomorrow."

Zoe just looked up and gave Tess a smile.

..

"Me and some of the girls are going out tonight Max. You going to join us?"

"Pub or club?" Max asked Dave.

"I dunno, probably just a pub."

"Yeah I'll tag along, just had to tell Zoe I'm not coming home this weekend. It's not good." Max rubbed his forehead with his arm feeling totally miserable about letting her down.

They stayed at the pub until closing. Kate ended up getting sick, apparently she wasn't normally a drinker. Dave and Max had to pretty much carry her between them back to the dorms.

"I'm so glad to have you guys with us." Mel was swinging around every lamp post she could find. She span and span around one until she was dizzy, knocking into Max. "Mmmm you smell good." Mel said as she looped her arm into his, just as Max's phone bleeped. He unhooked himself from Mel and read the text from Zoe.

Mel caught him adding kisses at the end of his reply... "Someone special?"

"Very!"

"She a bit clingy though?"

"What? No she's quite the opposite." He laughed, Zoe and clingy did not belong in the same sentence, she pushed him away every chance she got. "You met her though, oh no wait you didn't. She had already left before we'd been introduced."

Mel re-linked her arm through his, as they continued back. Max and Dave put poor Kate to bed and Mel got her a bucket. "Night guys, thanks again."

...

Zoe, lay awake. This was going to be a very long 3 months if she could not get to sleep without him. Her mind wandered to the day back in her office when she had watched him find out about Serenna. He had come back for her not even knowing about their daughter. She really had put him through some crap, considering like Connie had said they really hadn't actually been together very long. Although to Zoe it seemed like it was going on, if not 4 years. In reality it had only been months! Yet here she was pregnant again with his 2nd child.

There was no denying how he felt about her though, she knew that. All she had to do was think back to the night they conceived the baby she was now carrying. The memories of him comforted her, so it would be 2 weeks, big deal. She had gone years without him in her bed.

Zoe finally managed to drift off into a peaceful much needed sleep.


	32. Chapter 32

**This chapter is a little more racy than most of them. You can skip it, it won't matter. 14+**

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Max had called Serenna on Saturday lunchtime and spent a good 20 minutes talking to her. He told her to get one of her favourite books and he read it to her from memory over the phone. For now Zoe's worries were firmly laid to rest.

The week seemed to fly by with one thing and another before they both knew it Friday was upon them once again. When Zoe's phone rang around the same time that lunch time, she answered it with caution.

"Hey."

"Just calling to let you know, no matter what I will be home tomorrow."

"You'd better be, Serenna has to keep looking at your picture on my phone. Bean has probably forgotten what you sound like."

"Do you think she knows us already?"

"Of course she does."

"Listen I've just had an idea. I'm going to try and get home tonight, if I can get out of my evening class early. No promises, don't wait up but if not I'll see you tomorrow. I love you."

"Max, don't get behind in classes that won't help. We'll see you tomorrow, don't worry. Max?" He'd already hung up.

It was after 11pm and he hadn't text or called her back. Zoe went up to bed and read for a few minutes before falling asleep.

Max hadn't been able to leave his class early. He made his way up to his room, to find Mel, Kate and Dave already just about to leave for the pub.

"Here he is." Mel jumped up toward Max as he came in. "Here, I saved you a beer."

"Thanks."

"Hey Max, we were just leaving but you know where we'll be, come join us?" Dave said taking his coat off the chair.

"Yeah I'll probably see you there, give me a half hour so I can get cleaned up."

"You look just fine to me." Mel said as she ran her finger down his arm as they left.

Max got on his laptop to send off an assignment to his tutor. He took a shower and started getting ready. As he was about to leave he saw the train times still up on his browser. There was a train leaving at 9.40pm for Holby. He could easily make that even if he was to walk to the station, he could even get something to eat before he left.

Max sent Dave a text. 'Change of plans, going home. Missing Zoe like crazy'.

The train ended up being a little delayed and by the time he got to the front door it was past midnight. With all the lights out he dropped his keys about five times. Finally getting inside, he couldn't wait to get upstairs to her. To be next to her, to feel her warmth again.

"Max?"

"Yeah, I got a late train. I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you."

He lay carefully over her on top of the duvet and kissed her.

Smelling his scent again, his sudden closeness exhilarated and unexpectedly recharged her. "I've missed you." She whispered.

He kissed her neck as she gripped onto his shoulder blades. He pulled the duvet down some so he had more access to her, kissing her now suddenly quite roughly as he made his way down and found her nipples in turn. Manoeuvring his tongue skilfully over her, biting gently until he found her soft skin again. She was clinging on to him as if she thought he was going to try and leave her, both trying to quell each others moans with kisses.

"I've missed you too." He pulled the duvet down so there was nothing more between them.

He continued kissing her all over, while pinning her down by her upper arms. Zoe holding him down onto her using her nails to help her keep him close... Kissing and biting his neck and sliding her way down past his shoulders.

He grasped her vigorously and pulled her around so she was on top of him.. She didn't miss a beat working her way down teasing him with kisses, clawing needfully into his sides with her fingers as she did. He entangled his legs in hers. "I'm not letting you go." He pulled her back up to lock his lips on hers and then releasing her suddenly he firmly lifted her onto him. She cried out so loud, Max literally had to cover her mouth with his hand, he continued pulling her down hard on him.

After they were finally at peace she whispered to him "Hold me Max."

He noticed her trembling again as he held her. After a few minutes holding her tightly close... "You tremble after you have a mega orgasm did you know that? I think the house may have shook too!"

She kissed him to shut him up. "You woke me from my sleep to fuck me like crazy, I'm not surprised I'm trembling."

"I think it was you that fucked me."

"It was mutual." She kissed him tenderly.

"I'm pretty sure we're completely beaten up, it's a good job we won't be showing up in front of Connie tomorrow."

"We? Max you left marks? You think we've left marks?"

"I'd say so."

When Zoe got into the bathroom in the morning first thing, she gave herself a once over. She had mostly finger pressure marks on her upper arms, 2 or 3 marks on her breasts but her neck was clear. At least she wouldn't have to deal with Connie on Monday.

Max however was not quite as unscathed. One or two scratches she had put on his shoulder blades had slightly broken the skin. He also had quite a few speckle patches on his neck and shoulders and some red marks around his torso that were already fading but thankfully nothing like the way he'd made it sound she had actually barely slept worrying. She got some cotton wool and gently washed his scratches with hydrogen peroxide.

"Sorry."

"I blame myself for not coming home last weekend. If I want to survive in your bed, I'll know better next time."

"You're not entirely innocent you know, and there had better not be a next time!" She said nuzzling her nose onto his cheek.

"Like I said, I know better." He smiled.


	33. Chapter 33

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It was the first week in November and Max was spending every waking minute studying. The problem with a 3 month intensive course was that it was like its name suggested intense. He was lucky in that he had his room at college to himself most evenings as Dave wasn't one for staying in. They asked him every night to join them, he wished he could but he was so snowed under with all his work. Friday nights were worst as he really could have done with going out but he wanted to make sure he got as much of his homework out of the way, so he could enjoy as much time with Zoe and Serenna over the weekend without feeling stressed.

Dave and the girls came in hammered at 1am, having been to a club.

"Owww poor Max, still up cramming." Mel was all over him, massaging his neck. Kate flopped on Dave's bed.

"Yeah I'm done, I can't keep at it now, I'll be up all night."

"Sounds okay to me." Mel said and laughed. "Stay still so I can finish your lower neck muscles."

Max could hear Dave and Kate starting to make-out on the other side of the room, exhaustion suddenly washing over him. "You guys need to find another room." It was then it happened. He felt Mel kiss his neck and it wasn't just a peck it was slow and deliberate.

Max shot up out of his seat. "What are you doing? Mel you're drunk, you guys need to leave . I'm sorry to be such a downer but I'm not here to just party. Mel you know I'm with someone, let's not make it awkward. You guys are my best friends here!"

"No worries Max, you'll come around... You'll not be able to resist, we just got to get you loosened up some first." Mel winked. "Come on Kate." She dragged Kate away from Dave.

"Thanks Max." Dave was pissed.

"Well why don't you go in their room, seriously Mel's like all over me. It's really uncomfortable."

"Yeah I might just do that." Dave left slamming the door.

Max really didn't need the drama, but just another month and a half and he'd be done with it.

...

Getting home Saturday morning, Max couldn't be happier to be away from college.

"How are my girls?" He put his bag down in the hallway as Serenna came running up to jump into his arms. "I missed you princess."

"I thought I heard you." Zoe came down from upstairs.

"Zoe you look amazing." She had on a cream jumper dress that showed off her baby bump. She was just glowing with beauty, he met her half way and kissed her lifting her up a little as he did. "Mmmm definitely missed you." He placed his hand on her bump, everything okay with Bean didn't you have your 22 week appointment yesterday?"

"Yes, just measurements. She's doing great and she's dancing up a storm, I bet you'll get to feel her kick this weekend. I've felt her a whole bunch, she's getting so strong."

"No way, oh Zoe that would make my week. It's been horrendous!"

"Well you're home now, let us take your mind off it."

Max noticed the baby name book on the coffee table. "Have you had time to look at any names for Bean?"

"I scanned through a few pages, but nothing suits her like Bean does. We've still got lots of time yet, no panic."

"Yeah I was looking too, I feel the same way."

"Sit down let me get you a coffee. You hungry? I got some croissants in too."

"Yeah that would be great." Max relaxed on the couch. "That's a great puzzle you're doing Serenna."

"It's for you Daddy."

"I love it, thank you."

Zoe joined him on the couch cuddling in as best she could while they drank their coffee. "Max put your mug down. Here feel." She gently pressed his hand over her. "Come on Bean, you can do this." Zoe held as still as she could and then there it was, three little flutters in a row and he felt them all.

"See." Zoe said joyously.

"I can't believe I felt her do that!" He put his hand back on her bump again and he felt another little flutter. "Oh Zoe, it's amazing."

"I know." She kissed him. "I'm so happy, she knew you were here and had to show off her new skills."

Max laughed, looking so adoringly at Zoe. His heart so full of love for her, he could barely stand it.


	34. Chapter 34

**Thanks for the lovely comments, last couple of days. Love them :o)**

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Max regretfully returned to college Sunday evening. Everyone was out, so he took a wander down to the pub where he miraculously found them all.

"Did you have a nice weekend Max?" Kate asked him cheerily.

"Yes it was lovely. It's so hard coming back here."

"Max how come when you return you always have faint hickeys on your neck. Is your girlfriend like fifteen?" Mel asked laughing.

"Max you're not with Zoe anymore?" Kate interrupted sounding quite disappointed.

"Of course I'm still with Zoe, and Mel she's a little more than a girlfriend."

"Touchy." Mel said pulling an eek face toward him.

He turned away from them and went to get a drink. Starting to regret joining them.

"So have you guys been here in this booth all weekend or what?"

"Well we have changed it up a little, we were by the window last night." Dave pointed.

"Living on the edge." Max shook his head.

"So Kate, I guess by now you must be building up at least some alcohol resistance." Max teased.

"No, I'm just on lemonade."

"Good girl." He felt Mel attempting to drag her foot up his leg. "Unlike some." He pushed Mel's foot away. "You're wasting your time Mel." He rolled his eyes.

"Oh Max, don't be so boring. You talk about us living on the edge, any minute you'll fall off it because your life is so mundane you slept walked off it..."

"How many have you had Mel? Slept walked off it?" He was giggling.

"You won't be laughing when I pour my drink over you."

"Yeah and neither will you."

"Mmm fair point." She kicked him under the table.

"That's better." Max said as he lightly kicked her back.

As they left the pub, the heel on one of Kate's shoe's broke. So Dave immediately offered her a piggy back home, which ensued prompt wailing from Mel.

"Where's my piggy back?... Max I want a piggy back too."

"I'll give you a piggy back, but the second you cross the line you're dropped. Got it?"

"You don't even need to question it, best behaviour, promise."

Max bent down for Mel to jump on his back and he flat-out took off with her, shouting back at Dave some obscenity. To which Dave started dashing after him with Kate screaming for him to slow down.

When they got back to the dorms, the guys were knackered.

"Doesn't look like you'll be getting much out of Dave tonight there Kate."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Mel you're so lewd."

"What's lewd?"

"You!"

"Max you need a massage? I can do it in the lewd. Kate says I'm lewd."

"No I'll pass. I fell off the edge remember."

Mel obviously didn't remember because she looked at Max like he'd lost the plot.

"Oh shit, I've missed a text from Zoe."

"Wow."

"Well she's gone to bed now."

"Tragic."

"Mel, do you actually have any friends?"

Max sat down next to Kate with his phone. "Oh my gosh, who's the little girl with Zoe?"

"That's our daughter, Serenna."

"You've got a kid! That's brutal!" Mel smacked her head down on the desk.

"Oh she's gorgeous, so is Zoe mind you. Mel come and have a look!"

"No you're alright."

"Can I see more pictures of... Sss"

"Serenna, yes here."

He gave Kate his phone. "Owww you're like a perfect little family."

"Getting there Kate, we're getting there."

"Have you two had problems?"

"It's in the past, long story. We're good though now, really good.

"You know where I am if you ever need to talk. Well we'll let you get some sleep, Dave's already spark out. Night Max, thanks for sharing your pictures. I love them, Serenna is just beautiful."

After the girls left he sent Zoe a text saying goodnight and that he was sorry for missing her. Laying down on his bed he flicked through his pictures of his little family until he fell asleep.


	35. Chapter 35

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Max was unable to make it home the following weekend but it was to be expected, his work load had increased tremendously. Zoe understood and her initial freak out of having him gone was now just part of her routine.

When he returned home the weekend after, Zoe was acting a little strangely...

"Max, you really need to think about picking a name for the baby." Zoe handed him the book as he was trying to eat some lunch after just getting home.

"I've been looking, there's just soo many. My mind just gets scrambled with them all anyway I thought we weren't really going to worry about it yet."

"Mmmm yeah." She pushed the book closer to him.

"What are you up too?"

"Nothing..."

"You're lying, come on, out with it."

"Oh Max." She said reluctantly. "I think I found a name but I so wanted you to pick because..."

"Because I didn't get to pick with Serenna? Oh don't be silly, this is your baby too." He laughed at her. "Come here." He pushed his plate away and Zoe sat up on his knee. "Tell me, show me."

"No Max, I really wanted you to pick something but I do, I really do love this name."

"You're getting me frustrated not telling me." He stroked her hair out of her eyes.

"Okay I'll do you a deal. Look 3 pages at the end of the R's and look 3 pages into the S section. If you don't see it or don't like it we'll forget all about it. This is important to me Max, more important than you realize." She dropped her head.

"Give it here then." She handed him the book, he put his arm around her and the baby and kissed her neck gently. "Let's see..."

Zoe closed her eyes as she rested her head on him relaxing, while he flipped through the book one handed still holding onto her.

"I don't know Zoe, what if I don't see it?"

"I think you will.." She whispered. "Where are you up to?"

"Just finishing up the R's, have I missed it?"

"I'm not saying, this is our deal."

"I never agreed to."

"Just shush and read through them." She elbowed him.

Not saying anything he went through all the pages she had given him.

"You didn't see it?" Zoe's heart dropped a little she was sure he would have. It wasn't meant to be she thought to herself.

"I had to read to the end to make sure. If it's what I think it is I love, love, love it! You clever girl!"

"Ha ha you did see it!" Zoe was laughing.

"I hope I did because you're going to test me now aren't you?"

"Yes, first and second letter please."

Max shook his head "Is it... Sabine, Zoe?" Max said it a little nervously he knew he was right but he wasn't 100%.

Zoe turned his head to her and kissed him deeply. "Oh Max, do you really love it?"

"Yes I do, it is so perfect... it's a mix of Serenna and Bean. How could I not absolutely love it!"

Zoe smiled at him. "So it's final?"

"Definitely... Sabine!" He picked her up as he got up and span her around while he kissed her.

"Okay Max, back to reality. I know you have work to do. I'll take Serenna to the park for an hour, give you some peace and quiet."

"I don't have too much but I do have a little to get through. But don't I get a prize or something for guessing Sabine?"

"Later..." She said softly. "After you take me out for dinner, Serenna's going to Tess's tonight." She gently bit down on her bottom lip and pushed her index finger to her teeth.

"Is she now, you really did have this all planned didn't you!"


	36. Chapter 36

***Hi, you may want to make sure you got to read yesterday's chapter. For some reason it was offline most of the day even though I had posted it. I did fix it eventually (thank you for letting me know). xx**

**** This next one may be a bit of a slog to get through, I'm sorry but it is a fundamental chapter.. you kind of need to get to the end of it... That is all,,, thanks again for reading this... :o) xxxx**

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Max had missed a weekend home again. With the second weekend fast approaching he honestly couldn't see anyway of making that one either. He still had a project to get done that was worth 20% of his mark which he'd some how forgotten about. Not to mention his exams were starting this coming week. Even Dave and the girls had cut back their pub time some what with their exams coming up. He knew at this point Zoe was firmly on board after all he only had 2 1/2 weeks left.

Come Thursday evening he realized he'd have to make the call, no point letting her know last minute.

"Hey babe, how are you feeling?"

"Huge Max, I'm feeling huge." Zoe said with an audible sigh.

"Is there anyway you can come up on Saturday? Bring Serenna? There's no way I can get home, it's ridiculous."

"Max, really?" She said with sadness not anger.

"Really, can you come up? We could go out for dinner, I know it's a huge ask I need to see you and Serenna. I'm missing you both like crazy but I seem to have missed a fucking assignment and now I'm totally screwed I should be revising but now I've got to get this done on top of it."

"I'd love to see you Max, even if only for an hour. I don't think we will be able to come up though Serenna's got a cold. She's just miserable with it."

"I'm so sorry I can't be around to help you more. How are you feeling though you're okay?"

"I'm okay." She said not too convincingly. "Call on the weekend if you can to talk to Serenna, you know she loves speaking to you."

"I will. I love you no matter how big you get, you know that don't you."

"Thanks Max, I really need to hear you say that right now. I've been having a bit of a pity party tonight, I don't think I was ever this big with Serenna even at 9 months."

"You're beautiful not another word about it, you hear?"

"Yes, try not to stress out with the work Max just do what you can. We love you."

...

Friday for Zoe at work was exhausting, she needed the weekend badly. Just as she thought she was through the worst of her shift Connie called for a meeting with her and Tess. Usual bullshit cost cutting brainstorming that never came to fruition no matter what.

Toward the end of the meeting for some reason the conversation switched to Zoe's personal life thanks to Connie.

"So Zoe, Max all done with his course yet? We are expecting him back shortly I believe." Connie started flicking through her diary.

"No not yet, he's still got 2 weeks."

"Right."

"You'll be seeing him tomorrow Zoe?" Tess said kindly seeing the exhaustion written all over Zoe's face.

"No Tess, he's not been home a couple of weekends. So much work, now revision I don't think I'll see him now until he's finished."

Connie gave Zoe a look and raised her eyebrows.

"What was that look for Connie?" Zoe snapped.

"Well, Zoe what are you now 25 months pregnant? This has to be the longest pregnancy in history you look like you're about to pop."

"7 months, Connie. I'm 7 months you know I found out really early, trust me you don't think I'm aware of how long it seems."

"Well I'm not surprised Max isn't coming home. You know what they say."

"No, no I don't believe I do but you're obviously dying to enlighten me."

Tess jumped in at this point. "Connie, don't..."

"Oh right, well whatever it is I can't wait to hear it." Zoe was letting Connie get to her, the way Connie always did.

"Well it's like an unwritten rule isn't it. They always fuck around when you're pregnant." Connie announced proudly.

"Zoe take no notice." Tess said quickly.

"Connie, no disrespect but you know nothing about Max or our relationship."

"I know he's a young man and you're ..."

"Go on say it, older! So Tess, you think he's fucking around too?"

"Of course I don't Zoe but it does happen especially... "

"I don't believe I'm even sitting around here listening to this." Zoe promptly opened her bag and swiped her things off her desk into it with haste.

"If I were you Zoe, I'd be on my way up there without a second thought, see what's really going on." Connie nodded at her knowingly.

"I can take Serenna, Zoe." Tess added.

"You're serious! Tess I can't believe you are going along with this." Zoe got up feeling dizzy, steadying herself with the desk. All her emotions suddenly getting the better of her, how she was feeling about herself. The fact Max really hadn't been there at all these past couple of months.

Trying to hold it in, she broke down into tears.

"Oh Zoe, Connie I hope you're happy." Tess got up to comfort Zoe.

"You'll take Serenna?"

"Of course I will."

"Now?"

"Sure, let's go and get her. Come on, it's all going to be fine. You'll see. I really don't think you should be driving up to Birmingham in this state."

"I would." Connie said as she looked back while leaving the office.

Having taken Serenna round to Tess's for the night. Zoe started feeling a little stupid for what she was about to do, if nothing else though she wanted to go and prove Connie wrong. Spending an impromptu night with Max wouldn't be so bad either. Connie's words kept going round and round in her head. Why would she say that? Zoe just couldn't shake Connie's little speech out of her mind.

Max was her world, not that she would ever admit to it...

...

Max had his evening class totally unaware of the goings on back in Holby and the fact that Zoe was on her way up to see him that very moment.

7.30pm as Max's class had just finished, Zoe was just turning into the college.

A few minutes later Max made his way up to his room, fumbling for his keys. Finally unlocking the door he searched for the light switch...

"I've been waiting for you Max."

There completely naked lying on her front propping herself up by her elbows was Mel.

"Mel, for fucks sake get dressed. You really are doing yourself no favours."

"Come on Max, it can be our little secret."

"If you knew my gorgeous wife and kids you would be completely ashamed right now."

"Kids? I thought you just had the one kid. Anyway never mind them now, we only have 2 weeks left Max I thought I'd make it easy for you. You know you want me." She turned toward him to reveal everything to him.

As Max went to turn away, there in the doorway was Zoe...


	37. Chapter 37

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"Zoe!"

"This is her?" Mel guffawed "Ohhh, I get the kids reference now! No wonder you want me so badly Max, I bet you've not been getting any at all. You poor thing!"

"I'm going to fucking kill you Mel." Max tore around toward her in a second he had her by the arm and throat, dragging her off his bed like a rag doll.

"Max STOP." Zoe was screaming at him. "Max she's not worth it, PLEASE."

"What the hell's going on?" Dave and Kate were now standing behind a terrified Zoe, having just got back from dinner.

Max had Mel's arm around her back as she crouched on the floor in the fetal position.

"Ok listen to me Max." Dave was desperately trying to diffuse the situation. "Let go of her now, we're here. We can help."

Zoe was shaking visibly. Kate put her arm around her. "Zoe it's okay, it's me Kate."

Max violently let go of Mel's arm, grabbing her clothes off the floor and whipping them at her hard. "Get the fuck out of here, you're lucky your rescue party arrived you skank." He literally kicked and pushed her out of the room.

"I'm sure you would have been a tremendous let down anyway!" Mel screamed at him managing to get the last word.

Dave went after her, putting his coat over her. Kate kept a firm arm around Zoe seeing she was pregnant, she was so worried for her.

"Zoe, you've got to believe me. I swear nothing happened nothing has ever happened."

He put his hands up against his forehead and turned with his back to her resting his head up against the wall, kicking uncontrollably at the skirting board. "Kate you can leave now." Max shouted at Kate.

"I'm not leaving her with you until you've calmed down Max."

"You think I'd hurt a hair on her head. I'd kill myself first."

Zoe clearing her head now from the crazed past few minutes. "Kate, I'll be fine. Could you leave us alone."

"Zoe I'm right next door." She hugged Zoe. "Max you too, come find me if you need to okay?"

"Just leave Kate, just leave." Max had tears falling.

Kate closed the door on them, standing silently outside the door for a few moments to make sure everything seemed calm before going to join Dave with Mel.

"I never touched her Zoe. I would never..."

"Max, you scared me. I thought you were going to really hurt her." Zoe backed up a little toward the door.

Max went and sat down on the edge of his bed, hunching over putting his head in his hands.

Just then Zoe's phone rang, it was Tess. "Tess?"

"Zoe, I just wanted to make sure you arrived okay, I was worried about you."

"I arrived just fine Tess." Zoe said shakily.

"That's good, Serenna is wonderful. I'll let you go."

"Thanks Tess, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"You take care Zoe."

Zoe cast her eyes back to Max who hadn't moved. She crossed the room to sit beside him, putting her hand carefully on his back.

"Max, I've never seen you that way." Zoe said softly.

"I have no words Zoe. We're done right?"

Zoe gently lifted him up by his shoulder, pulling his hands away from his face as she did. "Max I was here for all of it. I know you weren't with her but what happened after Max, that wasn't you."

"The things she said Zoe, the way she talked about you. I swear if Dave hadn't been there... Look at you, you're breathtaking my everything."

Zoe put her hand around the back of his neck, cautiously she kissed him gently, he passionately accepted. Zoe pulled away after a minute, looking into his eyes and touching his face as if for the first time. Going in to kiss him again she started undressing him to which he mirrored.

"I'm sorry about... " Zoe looked down at her now large bump.

"You couldn't be more beautiful." He kissed her softly until he felt her relax again.

Back in the girls room, Mel was now drinking vodka straight from the bottle, still with just Dave's coat over her. Kate lecturing her over and over.

They soon became aware of what was going on next door as they heard the rhythmic beat of the bed against the wall and bed springs being put through their paces.

"Do you think she's okay?" Kate said concerned hearing Zoe in the next room.

"I'd say she's more than okay, she sounds positively orgasmic!"

"Yeah alright Dave, I'm just worried for them." Kate glared at Dave

"If she hadn't rocked up, that would be me right now!" Mel said with an adamant tone.

"Mel you are delusional. You know damn well he wouldn't have, even with you offering it up on a plate. I feel bad for you, I do... I mean A for effort but you don't mess with a family." Kate put a hand on Mel's leg to show her she was still there for her after everything.


	38. Chapter 38

**Thanks for all the great comments you guys have left, really appreciate them. xxx**

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Zoe awoke in the dorm room. It took her a minute to collect her thoughts, the events of the night before filtering through as she sat up to pick up her phone.

"Max, wake up. I've got to get out of here, I need to get back to Holby and pick up Serenna." She kissed him gently.

"Stay with me for the weekend." He said sleepily, pulling her back down into him.

"Max, you've got work to get through."

Max groaned remembering everything he still needed to get done. Cuddling her in closer trying to fight away reality. Zoe tried to get up but he started tickling her until she could fight him no more. Willingly letting him get his way with her one more time.

"Well, it's been real." Zoe said as she finished getting dressed.

"Zoe please let's never talk about it again, it's just something we should erase for the rest of our lives."

"One thing Max!"

"What?"

"This wife and kids you have, should I be worried?" She said with one eyebrow up.

"Zoe, you know I was talking about you." He swatted his hand toward her.

Zoe raised both eyebrows and picked up her keys off the desk. "Mmmm."

"Would that be such a bad thing?"

"Max don't."

She went to leave walking down the corridor, as Mel and Kate came out of their room.

"Zoe!" He shouted after her. Zoe kept walking without looking back.

"I thought you two had made up." Kate put her arm around him.

"We did, it's her defence mechanism. I think she thought I was about to propose to her."

"I'll marry you Max." Mel said timidly.

"On that note, I'll be in my room working for the rest of the day if you need me." He said to Kate. "Tell Dave he can come back in the room whenever he likes, so long as he doesn't bring up last night. I'm not jeopardizing my studying and career spending any of my time over that."

Max went back into his room and sent off a text to Zoe, hoping she would get it before she set off. _We have unfinished business. x_

_Don't ruin things Max, fixate on your studies not your fairy-tales. Talk to you when I get back, try and keep out of trouble! xxxx_

...

Zoe picked Serenna up.

"Any time you two need a babysitter you know where I am Zoe, mind you I have to say it's been a while since I've looked after a tiny one." Tess patted Zoe's abdomen. "So did you get to go out last night? I hope you enjoyed yourselves, Connie really can get the better of most of us. I want to say I'm sorry if I took part in any of what transpired yesterday but she does have a knack for it."

"Tess, to be honest I'm so done with the goings on of yesterday. Max and I have something that Connie has no idea even exists."

"I know you do."

"Thanks again Tess, come on Serenna let's make a move."

Driving home Zoe suddenly felt so lonely like it really was just her and Serenna again. "Remember when it was just the two of us Serenna? No one could hurt us then, now look at us leaving ourselves open for the fall. This is where the term 'don't put all your eggs in one basket' comes from. You love your daddy though don't you?"

"I love my daddy. Daddy is making eggs?"

"No Serenna, I'm sorry. He'll be home to make you eggs for Christmas." Zoe had a quick flash back of the pain she felt keeping the secret of Serenna away from him when she was just a baby, especially at Christmas. Raising her by herself yet managing to keep the dream that they were still a family.

Now she had it all, surely this was better despite her fears of getting hurt.

Had he really been talking about her becoming his wife this morning, why did he have to push it? Zoe could feel herself getting panicked just thinking about it. Even more to lose, there's a plan Max! She apprehensively thought to herself.


	39. Chapter 39

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Max had finished with his exams, thankfully he was good at retaining what he had learned in class because he really didn't study for them like he would have liked to. It was too awkward in his dorm room with Mel still lingering around, plus he hadn't seen Serenna for so long he felt dreadfully guilty. Finally he was done with it all it had seemed like the longest 3 months of his life but it was a worthwhile course for him to have as far as his nursing.

Connie already expected him back after the weekend. He had something on his mind he was now determined to get to the bottom of and knowing that the information he needed could be found in the ED he was happy to get back to work.

It really was the best feeling in the world for him to be working alongside Zoe again. He adored seeing her being busy with her work, her passion, her unquestionable confidence she had in herself as a brilliant doctor. He only wished that she would be as self-confident in her personal life.

Some of the patients were sometimes drunk and rowdy with her, he knew better than anyone she could handle it but it had been something that had bothered him being so far away. At least now he was able to be there to make sure she was safe.

Just being able to touch her arm while working close, spending a break together it was something he would never take for granted.

He finally saw an opportunity to get some of his P.I. work started. As he saw Tess alone checking off the list at the drugs cupboard.

"Tess, Zoe's ex... They tried for a baby, must have been pretty serious, what happened there?"

"Whoa, welcome back Max. You really need to ask Zoe about her private life. I really am the last person to ask, I don't get involved in people's relationships. You should know that."

"No yes I do, it's just she's, it's like she..."

"Spit it out Max, I have to get this done."

"Well she has this wall, as soon as she finally seems to relax and be truly happy the wall goes up instantly and it's back to square one. I really want to help her but without knowing about her past I ... it's like a vicious circle."

"Max, you need to love her for who she is. That is who Zoe is, you don't go through life with just the good, there is also the bad, the good times and the heartbreak from all of it you become the person you are today."

"I do love her for who she is. I just want to help her move on and leave any pain and doubts behind."

"You really need to talk to Zoe, Max. I'm sorry I can't help you."

"That's fine, this is just between you and me though, yeah?"

"Yes Max, I know you mean well. Are you two coming to the Christmas party?"

"Of course." He smiled and left her to her list.

Zoe had made an excuse and done admin. most of the afternoon. She just wanted to get home and put her feet up, she hadn't mentioned to Max but after picking Serenna up from Tess the other week after it had all gone down at the college, she had started feeling some mild contractions. Logically she knew they were probably just Braxton Hicks but the doctor part of her also knew how the stress certainly could have triggered labour, only having been 27 weeks at the time there could have been any number of complications that didn't bear thinking about. It had scared her enough to try and take things a little more easy. She was so thankful for every passing week now, knowing their baby had the best chance by the day.

That evening as they relaxed by candlelight in the living room...

"Zoe." Max went up behind her and gave her shoulders a brief massage.

"Oh Max that felt good. I will book you in for one of those later."

"Are we going to the Christmas Party?"

"When is it?"

"I think it's tomorrow, it's on a school night for you." He laughed.

"That comes from putting the time in, I wouldn't trade my weekends for anything. I think I'd rather relax at home than go to a party, I'm exhausted by 5! You must go though, then you can tell me all about it."

"I think I will. Be great to catch up with everyone."

"How's our Bean?" Max said noticing Zoe going to sit down looking uncomfortable. "She's doing better than I am, I hope."

"It will all be worth it, don't think for a second I don't appreciate how hard this is on you. Here scoot forward." He climbed behind her on the couch and pushed her top up and over her head. "That massage I owe you." He kissed the back of her neck gently, massaging her shoulders and painstakingly kissing her naked back.

"That felt amazing Max, thank you. Would you mind if I had an early night?"

"No, not at all. Do you want me to run you a bath or something first?"

"I just need sleep."

Max lifted her up in his arms and carried her upstairs. He placed her gently down on the bed, kissed her softly and went back downstairs. He could tell she wasn't feeling great and didn't want her to think that every act of kindness meant he had to make-love to her. As much as he had wanted to, having her next to him that night would be more than enough.


	40. Chapter 40

**Sorry this is starting to become the never ending story.. bear with me! :o/ **

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Max had really planned on enjoying himself at the party, especially as he didn't have to work the next day. However once there he just wasn't in the mood for it. It didn't feel right being around everyone that reminded him of Zoe while she was at home alone.

He spotted Connie sitting by herself at a table. "You look like I feel." He said to her kindly.

"Oh Max." Yes it's been a long day.

"Let me go get you another drink." Max took off to the bar getting himself a beer to go along with Connie's glass of wine.

"So you and Zoe you seem like the perfect couple, is it really all that it seems Max?" She stroked him with her words.

Before he could even answer, Connie was out of her seat "Oh I love this one Max, let's dance!"

"Okay..." he guzzled his beer and she took a few mouthfuls of her wine.

Getting back to their seat after dancing to a few songs. Max left her to go and get them more drinks.

"Connie, do you know who it was that Zoe used to date from the hospital?"

"Me? No I'm sure she dated a fair few, I mean I'm sure she wasn't celibately waiting for you."

Max laughed...

"Actually there was someone I knew that I know dated her, infact from what I understand they were quite the couple here in the ED." She stopped herself. "Max why are you asking me all this, when you can quite simply ask her yourself?"

"No reason, so go on... you were saying."

"No Max, I've said enough already."

"Dance?"

"Oh alright then."

Max would find out what Connie knew so that he could try and help Zoe's misgivings, so she could allow herself to move forward with him and tonight was probably his best and only chance.

A few glasses of wine and dances later. "Connie, your friend that dated Zoe you were saying?"

"He wasn't my friend Max, he was a surgeon. I'm pretty sure he was trying to move in on my department so I got rid of him."

"A surgeon? Was he married?"

"Nick Jordan? No, he had been married but mostly he just liked to keep it easy. Max I know what you're doing."

"So him and Zoe?"

"I wasn't here for him and Zoe. You know I heard his girlfriend died from wounds sustained in the Holby riots, she was apparently pretty high up in the police force it was just a few years ago. Terribly sad, of course Zoe was before that obviously."

"Let me get you another drink." Max was back in a snap with another glass of wine.

"Oh Max we have to dance to this one." Connie got up wobbling a bit, Max looked around to make sure no one could see her state.

"You know Max, you're a pretty good dancer." She placed her arms around him tightly. "I can kind of see what Zoe see's in you, although I like my men a little more mature. I suppose Zoe did once to Nick would have been a good few years older than her you know."

"So what do you think went wrong between them?" Max could feel her starting to lean into him, this was the last thing he wanted but he knew he was so close.

"Well the Nick I knew was a real ladies man, however what with his condition and everything the rumours were that he was looking to settle down and have a family."

"Condition?"

"A brain tumour, from what I was told a fairly aggressive one. He had truly been a great surgeon, such a waste. He had a top brain surgeon work on him from America, Walter McFay the very best!"

"Is he dead?"

"No Max, the operation was a great success he's working in America... Ann Arbor Michigan to be precise. I can imagine all of that was quite something for Zoe to go through with him but I have no clue why they broke up."

"Yeah, no, yeah so do you want another?"

"Max, if I didn't know your home circumstances I would put money on the fact that you are quite possibly trying to get me into bed. I know you like older woman after all."

"I like Zoe, just Zoe."

"Oh come on Max, we could have some fun."

"Yeah Connie, no you will so so regret saying all this tomorrow. How about we get you a taxi?"

Max called a cab from his phone. "Actually I'm going to go dutch with you, it's time I was getting home too."

From what Connie had told him the relationship between Zoe and Nick must have been pretty complex and heartbreaking. Certainly not something he'd beable to get his head around from the details that Connie had given him but enough. He had imagined all kinds of things that may have happened between them, for now his mind was at ease.


	41. Chapter 41

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When Zoe awoke, Max was sleeping soundly she kissed him as he slept. She thought about waking him to find out if he'd had a good time but decided to leave it so he could sleep-in until Serenna got him up.

Getting into work, she couldn't help but feel some of the staff were talking about her.

"What's going on Louise?" She asked at reception. "My ears are burning."

"They look okay to me, Zoe. Max get home okay did he?"

"Yes, do I even want to know?"

"Probably not... Zoe, he did seem rather pally with Connie they were dancing and together all night! I don't want to be the barer of bad news but you're going to hear it sooner or later. They actually left together."

"Louise, you don't honestly expect me to believe that." Zoe walked off with a file.

"I'm not joking, sorry Zoe." Louise called out after her.

Zoe got into her office hoping to take a minute to collect her thoughts but Connie was already sitting at her desk. Looking pretty rough, which only made Zoe think more about what Louise had said.

"Good night?" Zoe hastened.

"Proper ladies man you've got there Zoe."

"Isn't he just." Zoe smiled sarcastically. Max was flirty but Connie of all people? How could he do that to her... it just didn't make any sense out of everyone she knew Max despised Connie just as much as she did. Or so she thought.

"Well get it off your chest Connie, what did you and Max get up to? I mean it's all over the ED everyone's talking about it."

"I don't kiss and tell Zoe, you know me. You're the one practically married to him, constantly having a litter. You tell me what he was up to."

Zoe tried to start looking through her emails. She felt thoroughly humiliated but yet totally confused.

As she sat staring at the monitor unable to process anything on the screen, she suddenly felt a pretty hard contraction.

"Shit." She gasped.

Connie took no notice of her fiddling around with her pen, it was like she was just getting started. "I don't know how it looked to everyone else but if I didn't know better I would swear he was trying to get into my... well you get the idea Zoe."

Zoe didn't respond. She was too busy watching the time... 4 minutes and another one, she felt like she wanted to vomit hearing Connie still going on at her.

"Anyway, I take it all back quite the little detective you've got there, very impressive!"

"Detective, what?" Zoe was desperately trying to make sense of it all, everything was spinning out of control.

"Well he only got me drunk so that he could question me about you and our mutual acquaintance Mr Jordan of all people."

"Nick? Max was... " Zoe let out a cry of pain.

"Zoe what is it?" Connie now jumping up in concern.

"Oh fuck." Zoe knew now it was really happening.

"Is it the baby?"

"I think she's on her way, someone needs to call Max." Despite everything there was no way she wanted him to miss their baby being born.

"Well how far along are you?"

"Just call him, please!"

Connie ran to the door of the office. "I need some help in here please. Zoe this baby isn't ready you need to tell me how far along you are."

"Going on for 30 weeks."

"Okay, okay that's good Zoe that's really good, we need to stop this now though. Otherwise we're not going to get a chance to do both steroid shots for the baby. You need to try and relax."

"How am I supposed to f'ing relax with you leading me to believe Max fucked you!" Zoe screamed at her.

"Oh Zoe, come on that wasn't my intention I was just playing."

"Great, just great Connie."

Connie felt terrible. "Zoe I'm going to make sure everything works out. You have my firm promise I will do EVERYTHING to make sure you and the baby are absolutely fine."

"Well she's not going to be fine is she? She's going to be tiny."

"Oh Zoe, I'm so so sorry." Connie wiped away her tears. "Nothing happened, he's totally besotted with you. What have I done? Where is everyone? Come on Zoe I'll take you up."

Passing reception. "Louise, Zoe appears to be in pre-term labour, I need you to put a call in to Max right away please."


	42. Chapter 42

**Thank you for all the lovely comments you've been leaving... and for sticking with this :0) Txx**

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As they got into labour and delivery, Connie had everyone running around after Zoe. "This is Doctor Zoe Hanna she needs a Celestone shot for the babies lungs immediately, she is 29 1/2 weeks."

Zoe was having yet another contraction as her phone starting ringing.

"It's Max." Zoe just stared at her phone.

"Here give it to me."

Zoe handed Connie her phone. "Max, it's Connie. No panic, just get here when you can. Everything is going to be alright with them both, you have my promise. No no Zoe is fine, we're going to get the baby a steroid shot to help its lungs mature and hold off labour hopefully for as long as possible to get another steroid shot in... I know, yes I know Max. No.. the shots need to be 12 hours apart it's all going to be fine. Just get here when you can, talk to you in a bit." Connie promptly hung up on him before he could make her feel worse listening to how worried he was.

A doctor arrived to check the readings from the monitor that had been hooked up to Zoe's abdomen. "You are definitely in labour Zoe. We're going to give you your first steroid shot now for baby and administer your tocolytics to try and hold you off from delivering this little one. We will set our goal at 48 hours for now and hopefully go from there, sound like a plan?"

"How is my baby though? I need her heart-rate checked."

"I'll hook you up and we can take a look."

When the doctor was all done examining her as she pulled back the curtain Zoe noticed Tess lingering at the door. "Come in Tess."

"I don't want to get in the way."

"It's okay they've done most everything they can now."

"How dilated are you?"

"3cm and hoping to stay there." Zoe smiled weakly.

"Ahhh Tess, I'm glad you're here." Connie came in holding an armful of magazines for Zoe. "I need you to do me a favour." Noticing Zoe was having another contraction Connie grabbed a couple of extra pillows from the chair next to them and put them behind Zoe's back.

"Favour, Connie?"

"Apparently there is some gossip going around that at the party Max and I were perhaps acting a little inappropriately close under the circumstances." Connie eyed Zoe.

"Well if the shoe fits Connie." Tess fired back.

"Okay Tess, let's not do this now. Zoe and the baby are our main priority, I can assure you our Max had an ulterior motive and was only looking for information which I was quite aware of."

"Information?" Tess asked.

"I am here, I'm not sure this is helping. Please as much as I want to get to the bottom of it I have to think of my baby. Could you two do this outside?"

"Tess could we, I need to put this right." Connie beckoned Tess out of the room.

"Is this what triggered your labour Zoe?"

"I don't know Tess."

"Well I can probably help put your mind at rest a little because he asked me too if it's about Zoe's past relationships. He loves you so much Zoe he seems to think you become guarded when he gets to close he thinks there is some underlying cause from a previous relationship I guess. He just wants to know what to do to make you trust him."

"That's a bit ironic Tess, if that was his plan I think it back fired." Connie rolled her eyes.

"Well he didn't get anywhere with me which is why he may have gone in for a more drastic approach. You know Zoe, you are probably his first serious long term relationship. He's probably really insecure." Tess said sympathetically.

"Max insecure! I don't think so." Zoe laughed.

"It makes sense Zoe, he's probably thinking of everything he stands to lose if he messes up." Connie said agreeing with Tess.

Zoe thought of the night at the college with Mel, how he'd completely flipped out.

"He's probably just trying to find his feet Zoe and fast. He just became a father to Serenna having not known about her and now this little one. He's also probably dealing with a few ghosts from your past too am I right?" Tess held Zoe's gaze for a moment.

"Probably Tess, yes, yes he has."

"Well then there you go."

Zoe suddenly realized she hadn't had a contraction the whole time they had been talking and was only just starting to get one.

"I think they've slowed down." Zoe said with relief.

"Let me see." Tess took a look at readings. "They've definitely slowed down Zoe.

"That's great news." Connie said genuinely pleased.

With all the relief her labour having slowed down and Max seemingly in the clear. Zoe started laughing a little.

"What's so funny Zoe?" Tess asked.

"Well with us 3 up here, who's running the ED?"

"It must be running itself. I haven't received a page yet." Connie said looking down at her pager. "Tess maybe you could go back down just in case."

"I will, I just wanted to make sure Zoe was okay. We've been friends for too long for me to not drop everything." Tess leaned in to give Zoe a hug.

"Thank you Tess, thank you for everything."

"Don't you worry Zoe, I'll make sure to put a stop to the gossip. They won't dare once I'm done with them, you've got a real keeper there with Max make sure to let him know once in a while, that's all."

"I will Tess, I will."

As Tess was almost at the elevator, Max burst out of it almost knocking her over. "Max!"

"Tess, where's Zoe?"

"Max everything is fine, she's doing great. Just turn right at the end of the corridor, she's in the second room on the left."

"Thanks." He shouted back in mid sprint down the corridor.


	43. Chapter 43

**... FYI. I'll be putting up the last chapter tomorrow, no matter how long it is... :o)**

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"What's happened?" Max said as he rushed to Zoe's side, kissing her as he swept the hair from the side of her face. Taking her hand and holding it tight.

"I don't know Max, I was just sitting at my desk when the contractions started." Zoe looked over at Connie and gave her a slow wink.

"Thank you Zoe, I'll leave you two alone. If you need anything don't hesitate to have them call me. I'll be up to check on you soon." Connie left them, shutting the door.

"Bean? Is she going to be okay?" Max said pulling at his hair, worried sick.

"I hope so Max. They've slowed my labour down now if I can go at least 48 hours although weeks would obviously be best so she can stand the best chance without hopefully too many complications."

"What are her chances do you think?" He whispered barely able to say the words.

"I think they're good Max." Zoe smiled at him gently.

He cupped her face as he kissed her deeply for a few moments. "I missed you so much last night Zoe. You're all I could think about."

"I heard. Connie filled me in on your agenda..." She said before thinking.

Max stayed quiet for a few seconds. "Zoe please tell me this situation for Sabine, has nothing to do with what she told you."

Zoe started having another contraction as a nurse came in. "Okay Zoe, are they getting stronger?"

Zoe had to breath through this latest one but tried to cover it up... "No not as strong as before and less frequent."

The nurse took a look at the readouts "Well that last one was quite a bit stronger. You need to try and stay calm and relaxed, I know it's difficult when you're so worried but it will really help you both."

Zoe smiled at the nurse while running her eyes past Max to see if he was still hanging onto their conversation from before the nurse had interrupted. Seeing his expression she could clearly see he was.

"Just from your last reading I think I'm going to have the doctor come back and examine you to make sure things aren't progressing too much. I won't be a minute."

"I just got my answer, didn't I Zoe. What the fuck is wrong with me? I try to make things better but I end up making them worse, so much worse. If anything goes wrong for you or the baby it will be all my fault. I swear I wasn't trying to pry Zoe, I don't know what Connie has said but I meant no harm in it. I'm so sorry."

"No Max, I'm sorry. Let's stay strong so that Sabine gets her best chance. We can talk more about this if you like when we know more and she's safe. I haven't been fair to you either shutting you out when I feel vulnerable, I will try and let you in more..." She ran her fingers through his messy hair. "I love you more than I ever imagined I'd love anyone. I didn't think I would ever say that to anyone ever again. Don't give up on me Max." Zoe said bravely pulling in her lips, she had nothing more to say.

"Give up on you? I've only just started." He moved in on her quickly kissing her purposefully as his hand slid inside her gown to her breasts and nipples moving skilfully over them, Zoe let out a quiet moan as he continued. They broke apart not quite quickly enough as the doctor walked in on them.

"There will be non of that, unless you really do want this baby too soon." The doctor gave them a warning look.

"We haven't taken complete leave of our senses." Zoe said pointedly.

"Glad to hear it. I'm going to check your cervix now, just relax. Well Zoe you're now at 4cm but you are 100% effaced, you are not to leave this bed unless you absolutely have to and only then for very quick bathroom breaks. If you feel any more strong contractions we will need to re-access our plan for you. Oh and before I forget you have quite the fan club calling up from the ED, can we let them know that everything is fine for now?"

"Yes, and sorry." Zoe could only imagine especially Louise she was probably calling up every 5 minutes with people asking her if she'd heard anything.

"Max could you get Serenna later and bring her in for a while. I'm really going to miss her, I'm obviously going nowhere for now and I didn't even see her this morning."

"Of course I will."

...

After Max had left with Serenna later that afternoon Zoe had fallen asleep, only to be woken at 10pm to have another steroid shot. "You seem to be doing great Zoe, I'm not going to check you now. We'll leave it until morning, get some sleep."

Zoe was unable to sleep after the nurse left, she reached for some of the magazines Connie had brought her and spent most of the night reading up on every celebrity currently alive. She must have dozed off at some point because at 6.30am she was awoken by a painful contraction, only to find herself soaking wet. Her waters must have broken in the night before doing anything else she sent Max a text to get to the hospital as soon as he could. Quickly doing the maths she realized too that her baby had only about 22 hours since the first steroid shot. Zoe knew it had to be 48 hours minimum for them to really help.

As Zoe felt another hard contraction coming, she pushed the buzzer to get help...


	44. Chapter 44

**Thank you to every single one of my reviewers and to anyone that took the time to read this story... :o)**

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As Max turned the corner in the corridor he could hear Zoe screaming.

"Hey, you're doing great." He moved in quickly to support her.

"Thank god you made it Max, I'm so sorry I couldn't stop it." Zoe started getting emotional, gripping his arm and back of his neck bringing him in close as another contraction hit.

"You know she'll be just like her Mum a fighter. You'll see Zoe, you'll see."

"We're at 10cm, Zoe I need you to push when you next feel another contraction. We really need her quickly now, her heart-rate is dipping."

"You can do this Zoe." Max held her hand tight.

"Push, push Zoe. Okay she's crowning, Zoe stop pushing, breath, breath. Zoe STOP PUSHING... SUCTION... small pushes now Zoe."

Everything happened so fast, the baby was whisked away to the warming bed.

"I don't hear her" Zoe was sobbing and exhausted, Max just kept his head down.

"Ventilate... she's stable, move her to NICU now please."

Zoe shut her eyes. Max wiped her tears, not taking his eyes off her totally terrified.

"Zoe, we've had to ventilate, her lung function may not be quite there yet that's why you didn't hear her cry. I'm going to have her hooked up properly in NICU but she is breathing on the ventilator for now. She weighed 2.5lbs obviously we have a ways to go but she definitely seems like a little fighter." The doctor tried to be as reassuring as she could.

"Can we see her?"

"Of course. We'll be putting her in an incubator as soon as she's all set up, I'll have them call you alright?"

A half hour later Max wheeled Zoe to NICU, there in the incubator was their precious baby Bean.

"She's so teeny." Zoe said, her heartbreaking.

"You can touch her." One of the nurses kindly said.

Max put his hand through into the incubator. Sabine strongly grasped the tip of his little finger. "Oh Zoe she's so beautiful! You're going to be running around with your big sister in no time aren't you Bean." He smiled reassuringly at Zoe.

"In 4 hours if you come back we are going to attempt to take her off intubation and try her just on the CPAP oxygen mask. We want her to try and breath for herself if she can." The nurse explained.

"She's not breathing for herself?" Max said full of anguish.

Zoe took his hand and kissed it. "Max, she's going to be here for a while. Probably at least a month."

Max held onto his daughters tiny wrist... "I can't do this, like this... Zoe I'm sorry I've got to get some air."

Before Zoe could say anything he was already crashing out of the doors.

...

Hours later, he still hadn't returned. Zoe spent her time at Sabine's incubator, watching her monitor.

"Where's your daddy gone. He loves you so much he just wants to see you strong like Serenna, he's not used to seeing teeny ones." Zoe stroked her daughters tiny legs.

Another hour and it would be time to try taking Sabine off the ventilator. As Zoe started to nod off in her chair, she was aware of someone supporting her head. Opening her eyes, he kissed her neck. "I'm sorry Zoe, I just ..."

"It's not easy Max, it won't be easy."

"I'm here. I'll always be here."

They sat quietly, Zoe resting her head on his chest as he pulled his chair up close to her. He gently stroked her hair as they watched their daughters chest rise and fall.

Before they knew it, the doctor was starting to pull at the tubes surrounding Sabine, organizing the CPAP ready.

"Now don't expect too much, we may need to put her back on the ventilator but the CPAP is so much less invasive if she can breath for herself. It will just help keep her lungs open between her breaths rather than doing everything for her as the ventilator is right now. Have you named this little girl yet?"

"Sabine." Max said dotingly. "We've watched her grow since she was the size of a poppy seed." He said, full of love for her.

Zoe looked at him with complete adoration, as she squeezed his hand.

"Sabine is in the right place here, she will have round the clock care. Now let's see Sabine, are you going to be able to do this?" The doctor unhooked her as two nurses kept an eye on the monitor. Placing the mask over her tiny nose and mouth and then removing it, waiting and repeating the same actions.

"Well?" Max said he'd tried to be patient.

"It's too early to tell yet but she is definitely able to breath on her own, which is excellent news so early. I wouldn't go as far as to say she doesn't need the CPAP though, she's still fragile and when they are this preemie having not had their full 48 hours of steroids it's just too risky. They can simply forget to breath, so I'm going to put the mask on her for everyone's peace of mind."

Zoe let out a huge sigh of relief.

"It's a big step, you should both be comforted by. You will learn to appreciate each little milestone she achieves, every ounce she puts on. Before you know it, she'll be able to come home if she keeps up like this." The doctor smiled at them both encouragingly.

"This is really great for her Max." Zoe looked into his eyes. "You look exhausted."

"I know and I haven't done anything, unlike you but you are my superhero." He kissed her gently.

"You should both try and get some rest. It's not an easy road having a baby in NICU." The doctor said before leaving them alone.

Max put his hand inside the incubator again to be close to Sabine. "I got you something today Zoe, while I was gone..."

"You sound nervous." Zoe said lightly jokingly now the mood was less somber.

Max went to the side where he'd left his coat. After a minute he returned with a flat square jewelry type box.

"I love you so incredibly Zoe, this is from Sabine."

Zoe opened the box and inside was a gorgeous Tiffany silver coffee bean necklace. "Oh Max, you shouldn't have. I love it though! Could you put it on for me?"

"My pleasure, it's a bean incase you didn't get it."

"I got it." She laughed at him.

He gently placed the necklace around her and kissed the back of her neck as he fixed the clasp. When he was done, he faced her toward him admiring her beauty. "You're everything to me, you know that. You, Sabine and Serenna. I couldn't want more out of my life ever." He held her gaze for a minute.

"So I wanted to get you something else too, because Serenna. I didn't get you anything when Serenna was born, I want to make that up to you. He took a deep breath and pulled out another box, only this time it was a small square box. "I couldn't stand the thought of losing Sabine, let alone you and Serenna. I know there's no guarantees in life, I know that. Just the thought that someday Sabine may be strong enough to walk, just think of both our little girls walking us down the aisle Zoe. How far we would have come."

"Max..."

"Marry me Zoe?" He opened up the box and inside was a gorgeous square diamond white gold ring.

A tear fell from Zoe's cheek. "Max, we're both emotional. I ... " She looked into his eyes, everything they'd gone through flashing through her mind... their baby inches from them fighting for her little life.

Before she even knew what she was saying... "Yes Max, yes I will..."

Max was taken completely by surprise expecting to have to spend days even weeks convincing her, not seconds. "Really? Really Zoe!"

"Yes Max, you've done it!" Zoe laughed at his surprised expression... She held out her hand and he eagerly placed the gorgeous ring onto her finger.

"Take a breath." He said, as he kissed her.. for a very, very long extended session. "I love you, you know."

"I know."

...

**The End**


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